b3ta.com user Lusiphur
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» Pet Stories

Not one of my proudest moments, but anyway...

I once had the nest dog ever, I was called Bradely, he was a cross between a red setter and a springer spaniel.

To say this dog was stupid is like saying that Stephen Hawkins has slight troubles with stairs.

But this story isn;t about Bradleys stupidity, no it's about his "other" habit.

My dog wanked. A lot. Prolly more than I did (which is hard as I was 15 at the time.)


Picture me and my family, sitting in the living room watch TV. Bradely sitting infront of the TV "cleaning" humself. Suddenly water appears on the screen. We look puzzled and I get up to see if there is a leak. Then I notice my dog with his cock in his mouth, rubbing up and down with it clenched between his teeth.

Not something I want to remember to be honest.

A week later, I'm sitting in my room playing Diablo 2. Suddenly I feel something hit the back of my head, I reach round and feel a liquid. I curse and look up, expecting to see a leak. I get Deja Vu and suddenly remember that Bradley had been sleeping on my bed...

Yes, when I was 15 my dog came on teh back off my head.

As I said, not my proudest moment.
(Fri 8th Jun 2007, 18:47, More)

» Advice from Old People

Belfast Wisdom
We've clearly all had those moments where the urge to drop whatever you're doing and lovetap some old doll in the face. So I'll add mine.

Standing in the quese in some random corner shop years back (near Glandore for anyone curious) I had the misfortune of hearing the following conversation.

Old Bint 1: "So how was your holiday? Did you take the kids to the beach?"
Old Bint 2: "Aye I did, they loved it. But there were to many people there. I think more people would go if it wasn't so crowded"

(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 14:39, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Ulster greatness
Lower Shankill Road.

Sprayed on a wall for all to see

"Frank Butcher blows goats"

And sprayed I think on the Ardoyne flats

"Pedofiles out"

And they say the N.I Education was lacking.

Length? Apparently long enough to blow.
(Sat 5th May 2007, 14:38, More)