» Customers from Hell

Different job
I also used to sell mortgages by phone - ring name on list (Kirsty Burger once - still makes me grin) and give smarmy speil about saving money etc.

One couple I rang one night where interested - £kaching$ - but the little one was not going down so could I possibly ring back.

Oh yes, once every week for 3 months. They never ever repeated the same excuse - I know this because I kept notes.

Chinese takeway arrived - check
Washing machine flooding the kitchen - check
Rushing to A&E - check
Baby sitter just turned up and already late - guess what - check
Bit knackered - yup
Guests, pizza delivery, too pissed, house on the market with people viewing (yes I did ask to speak to them) and "oh my god - some one is stealing my car!" - personal favourite.

House fire - well no we didn't get that far but I'd bet that was on the list.

My last day I rang them and congratulated them before telling them that I was passing their details to a colleague (who I hated) without the list of excuses so they could start all over. They are probably still at it.
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 22:35, More)

» Customers from Hell

Oh so many tales of woe
I work in a late night off licence in Worcester. The only late night off licence in the city to be precise, and thus we have the pleasure of some of the cities finest. I've been threatened, spat at, punched but the one thing that really riles me is people who expect to be served when chatting on their mobile phone.

Two years hence I was doing a normal Friday night shift when customer enters talking on said mobile. She looked familiar, but I put this down to her being a regular and thankfully the shop was busy so even tho she had her copy of Hello and Snickers bar on the counter I roundly ignored her and served all thoise around her. My standard comeback is "No your phone call is obviously important - I'll wait".

Eventually the shop falls quiet and I am forced to serve the ignorant bitch while she continues her chat. She collects her change, flashes me a smile and exits, just as two local bouncers come in.

"Feck" says one, eyeing her up. The other - "Yeah I heard she was in town".

"?" says I

"That's Myleen Klass - her out of that girl band just did the jungle thing."

Turns out there was a filming of Most Haunted going on that night and I just dissed her. I'm just happy that Derek didn't turn up truly a customer from the lower bowels of hell.

Oh and when I've told you that you are too pissed to be served and will call the police if you don't leave, be sure that when I dial those 3 numbers and ask for Worcester Control, I'll be listening to a recorded voice telling me what the time is - but it seems to work. ;-)
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 22:14, More)

» Cringe!

There is not one male B3tard
that doesn't cringe

www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Baseball_Cup
(Sat 29th Nov 2008, 2:47, More)