b3ta.com user tubbylittletitwitch
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» "You're doing it wrong"

Dog day evening ?
After a particularly boring brain dead 12 hour shift at work yesterday, I went home in the pouring rain ...stood under a brolly whilst letting my two nutty dogs run around for 10 mins on the garden (one chases dicky birds to the point where I swear she nearly takes off and flys along WITH them, the other more grown up doggy plods along sniffing and spraying along the outer edge of the garden - sneaking into the neighbours when I'm not looking and chases their cat).

Anyhoo, still in brain dead mode, I give the dogs their tea and make myself a cuppa before finally relaxing in front of the tv with laptop on knee ... position assumed for the rest of the evening ...or so it should be.

The tv won't come on, I glance at my alarm clock and notice that is off too 'Maybe the electic went off in that stormy rainy weather earlier' I puzzled to myself. No fear, I have full battery on my laptop so I'm good for a couple of hours anyway... so I set about searching on the internet for 'electricity supply outage - Yorkshire' to find out wtf is happening (the last time this happened some nutter/14 year old had fried himself climbing a pylone leaving our area without electricity for a couple of hours while they scraped what was left of him off).

I couldn't find anything on t'internet, so waited a while for my son to come home thinking maybe he might have been dicking about with the electrics again (previously he had wired up the outhouse lightswitch to run a 4 gang extension cable off and was merrily mig welding his car with it after changing the fuse wire in the main box from 5 amp to some ridiculously high ampage - this gave me nightmares for weeks, he could have burnt the bloody house down ffs !!!).

Anyway, there I am ...drinking my cuppa pondering what to do next when it suddenly dawns on me 'How the feck did I make a cuppa if I haven't got any electric??' ... at which point I realise that there hasn't been an 'electricity supply outage - Yorkshire' but my eldest dog had pished on the extension cable and blown the pishing fuse and quite probably got a nasty cock shock in the process - that'll teach the dirty beggar!! :D
(Sun 18th Jul 2010, 10:46, More)

» Shit Claims to Fame II

John Inman, Roy Castle, Danny La Rue, Phil Cool ...
... all stayed in the hotel where I used to work years ago while they were appearing in pantomime at a local civic theatre. John Inman brought his dog with him and walked it in the grounds while wearing a shellsuit (it was the late 80's!), Roy Castle was a thoroughly nice chap who looked taller in real life to me than he did on the telly, never actually saw Danny La Rue but did take his/her breakfast up and left it outside his/her room, knocked and left as requested - think he/she was a bit touchy about being seen without make up on at that time in the morning ... and finally Phil Cool who I hadn't realised was still in his room as I barged in to replenish his tea and coffee making facilities and promptly (on request) gave me a signed picture of him 'pulling one of his funny faces' which I still have to this day ... it is hiding in a box in the loft somewhere but it really is a treasured memento of the time he stayed there, honest - another thoroughly nice chap too.
(Sat 22nd Sep 2012, 21:36, More)