» Crazy Relatives

My Aunt
One day, me and my parents decide to visit my aunt for tea, buscits and some idle chit chat, then it get's interesting when the converstation turns to one of my other aunts. Turns out she was on the front of our local newspaper for running not one, but two brothels. My aunt was a madam
(Fri 6th Jul 2007, 9:11, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Simpsons moment
one day when I was small and innocent, I was out in the garden when my dad was cutting the grass there was a rake on the floor. Oh thinks me, I've seen this on the simpsons (with sideshow bob...you know the one). I stepped on the rake, making the wooden handle, the very hard wooden handle, fly up and hit me square in the face. Not my best moment
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 16:14, More)

» Why I was late

Late Wank Shocker
While I was a wee young sprite at school, we would have this french teacher that nobody would like and would regulary turn up late and mentaly abuse this man (and my class helped him get the job, so I can't help but feel responsible) Anyway, we turn up for his lesson vaugley on time but alas, my friend doesn't. 10 minutes later he comes in and the teacher questions him
Teacher "Where have you been"
Student "Yeah, I've been in the toliet having a wank sir"
*stunned silences all around*
Needless to say, he never lived that one down
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 8:30, More)

» Family Holidays

Waterslide Fun
Not such a big deal, on holiday with my parents to florida about 11 years ago now, we visit Facisit Water World, AKA a Disney themed water park. Now being about 7 at the time, all the big water slides would scare the crap out of me, except this one. If you've never seen a really large water slide, you have to lie down and cross your arms and hope you don't fall off. So down I slide, thinking ow! this landings a bit rough, never mind I thought, lets go on again, getting up I see some blood in the water. At which point my mom points at my back in horror. Turns out there was some jagged thing sticking up out of the ride which had cut my back as I was sliding down

Damn Disney :(
(Thu 2nd Aug 2007, 15:01, More)

» * PFFT *

The funniest fart ever
Lying in bed with my gf on sunday morning, I heard the strangest fart sond I've ever heard, it was quite wet and sounded different to every other one I've heard. I wondered what the hell it was, then it came to me
Me "was that a fanny fart?"
Her (laughing) "yes...(laughter)"
yes, we spent about 10 minutes laughing at her fanny fart
at least she didnt follow through
(Mon 16th Jul 2007, 11:09, More)