» Why I was late

I'm a lazy twunt
Some standards I usually utilise and have had moderate success with

Punching the air in Glee at arriving 2 hours late and Exclaiming how your time machine works.

Localised Gravity flux cause the Duvet to be exceptionally heavy today.

DiLithium crystals wouldn't stabilise

Was followed by a kitten and as work has a no kitten policy I had to walk it back home

Have been moonlighting at a rival company because your pay rates are bollocks.

and when called to find out when I wasn't at work by a HR 'tard of the first order, told them to do one and shouted down the phone (I was on an arranged 2 week break and was getting married the next day), some how I still managed to receive a written warning for that.
(Wed 4th Jul 2007, 13:09, More)