» Siblings

My brother
I got a hell of a brother.

He's 6 years younger than me and I really love him. Sadly, I haven't been seeing him too often lately....

So, fucking Christmas is good for some things after all :) Family reunions and all that.

We had real fun while we were kids. I used to pinch him while at the lunch table and pretend I didn't while he was crying. He used to break my favorite toys. The usual stuff, you know.

We hang out often together and actually shot down some real nice chicks as a team. It's also extremely useful to have a brother when you have some really brilliantly stupid plan which noone else but him is going to follow.

One particularly fabulous one was trying to parachute him down from the second floor using a linen blanket. He only got away with a couple of bruises. Well, I got some too, when daddy got to know...

Unfortunately, all of this happened in a parallel universe where he was actually born and I didn't have to discover my mother's abortion certificate while digging in a wardrobe at age 10 or so...

Cheers for siblings
Everybody who has one should be happy
(Fri 26th Dec 2008, 1:47, More)

» Spoilt Brats

I guess it's too late to get any attention, but here goes
I had a couple with a little daughter as neighbours. The girl was about 4 years old and very sweet - blond hair, blue eyes, in short, a little angel.

But she was also a hideous little beast. She drove them nuts with constant whining, for be it toys, sweets or some other whims. She had frequent fights with the other children from the neighborhood and behaved generally like a snotty little princess. She was also quite noisy and threw sometimes gravel at my dog. She was their only child, and well, you get the idea - they had really spoiled her.

No wonder that they once came back from a holiday without her.
(Thu 16th Oct 2008, 13:56, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

Computers
For my last computer configuration I needed some very stable OS, so I decided to install UNIX. I had never used it before, but given all the word of mouth I had heard - what could go wrong?
Many things, as became clear shortly afterwards. First of all, it happened to be in the same period as I decided to try quitting (once again) my booze habit.
As the law goes (forgot which one...), if some things CAN go wrong, they WILL go wrong, and of course all at the same time. So that's exactly what happened:
As I was checking the new config, I found a physical error on the HDD. Damn! All the stuff that I needed had already been installed... Fighting the damn Delirium Tremens, having seizures every couple of hours... so much time for nothing. I really couldn't take my time once more for the same thing - I had spent nearly 3 hours installing everything, so I decided to try packing all the stuff on an external HDD and as I directed the system to do it, I had a new seizure.
As anybody who has ever had Delirium Tremens will understand, things can go bad real fast. And they did. I only had time to hit "enter" to start the procedure, as I lost my consciousness.
When I woke up, I called the ambulance, as I was all shaky and even some blood was coming out of my mouth.
One thing did go right - as I looked at the screen, I saw that all data had been transferred.
So the summary for me was, as I waited for the ambulance -
UNIX packed it, new DT.

Sorry, just wanted to try...
EDIT: You are too kind :)
(Mon 1st Jun 2009, 17:11, More)

» Food sabotage

Thom's story
I must warn you - you will probably hate me after you read this.

I had once this really weird friend. Let's call him Thom.

He was ranting all the time about some sort of world conspiracy and how unreal everything around us is supposed to be.

He was a real pain in the ass with his constant mumbling and every time we met, he made some smart-ass remarks about reality and life and so on.

To round it up, he barely came out of his place and spent all the time in the net chatting with other freaks about his fantasies.

You probably know the way in which sad and lonely net geeks behave.

With the years, he was becoming more and more obsessed, and finally one day I decided to have a little fun with his mania.

So I configured an IRC account over a web anonymizer and found him in the channel where he was normally hanging out.

Then I pretended I was someone else and told him all the stuff he was talking about conspiracies etc. was true and if we would meet I would prove it to him.

He really fell into it!

We arranged a meeting and I talked another friend (who was black) into offering Thom two different skittles I had previously injected with some first-class acid and telling him that if he would swallow one of them he would understand everything.

The sucker did swallow the red one and couldn't come off the trip...

The asylum personnel said now he's talking all the time about some evil robots with tentacles and crowds of identic men wearing black suits and sunglasses.

Poor bastard, I guess I'm going to Hull.
(Sat 20th Sep 2008, 17:05, More)

» I witnessed a crime

it was in portugal
it was late at night. i was in a park and i saw a couple killing their daughter with a spade and then burying her under a tree.
i think they still pretend to be looking for her.
/hull
(Sat 16th Feb 2008, 23:49, More)