Profile for Phoenixx1973:
36 living in Wellingborough UK
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 16 years, 10 months and 14 days
- has posted 245 messages on the main board
- has posted 17 messages on the talk board
- has posted 1 messages on the links board
- has posted 9 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
- They liked 77 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
36 living in Wellingborough UK
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Evil Pranks
Och. See you Jimmeh!
Back when i was younger, my mother used to own a hotel in Blackpool. To cut a long intro short, the holiday trade went down the pan so she started taking in students from the local college.
Well there was this one guy, Scottish and probably the whiniest, whingiest, complainingist Nuck Fuggit you could ever wish to meet. He would complain about everything, from the wrong kind of tiolet roll in the bathroom to one of the chips being slightly over brown on the edges.
Well, me and my mother had had enough of his incessant griping so we asked him one day if he would like Haggis for dinner (on account of he had spent the whole day going on and on about how great it was in Scotland) So my mother sent me out to buy a durex and a large can of Pedigree Chum (or indeed any other top selling dog food) I then proceeded to stuff the contents of the can of dog food into the durex until I had built up a nice large round and strangely appetizing haggis.
Into a bowl of water over a pan of boiling water it went (So as not to burst the latex on the hot pan) and 20 mins later out comes one very convincing haggis, which my mother happily served to him(After episodes of complaining that dinner was taking it's time).
30 or so minutes later the plate comes back to the kitchen, empty.
Unfortunately I was not there when one of the other residents told him what he had actually eaten. Would have loved to see his expression.
Needles to say, there were no more complaints from him and he moved out about 3 weeks later.
Length? Trojan
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 18:18, More)
Och. See you Jimmeh!
Back when i was younger, my mother used to own a hotel in Blackpool. To cut a long intro short, the holiday trade went down the pan so she started taking in students from the local college.
Well there was this one guy, Scottish and probably the whiniest, whingiest, complainingist Nuck Fuggit you could ever wish to meet. He would complain about everything, from the wrong kind of tiolet roll in the bathroom to one of the chips being slightly over brown on the edges.
Well, me and my mother had had enough of his incessant griping so we asked him one day if he would like Haggis for dinner (on account of he had spent the whole day going on and on about how great it was in Scotland) So my mother sent me out to buy a durex and a large can of Pedigree Chum (or indeed any other top selling dog food) I then proceeded to stuff the contents of the can of dog food into the durex until I had built up a nice large round and strangely appetizing haggis.
Into a bowl of water over a pan of boiling water it went (So as not to burst the latex on the hot pan) and 20 mins later out comes one very convincing haggis, which my mother happily served to him(After episodes of complaining that dinner was taking it's time).
30 or so minutes later the plate comes back to the kitchen, empty.
Unfortunately I was not there when one of the other residents told him what he had actually eaten. Would have loved to see his expression.
Needles to say, there were no more complaints from him and he moved out about 3 weeks later.
Length? Trojan
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 18:18, More)
» Food sabotage
Whinging Haggis
Not sure if i may have already posted this particular tale of Scottish woe here before but just in case.... here goes...
back about 15 years ago, my mother ran a hotel which catered for students going to the local college. at once point we had one particular student who was very vocal about EVERYTHING. Complaining about anything he could lay his eyes on and basicly being a pain in the ass to everyone in the place.
People were generally sick to the back teeth with him. Not just my mother and the staff but the other residents aswell.
Enter me, with a truly disgusting scheme which involved a Durex and a tin of Pedigree Chum.
My mother approached him asking him if he would like to hve a traditional Haggis for his dinner one night. His face lit up and he eagerly accepted the offer. BRILLIANT! Time for my plan to spring into action.
I took the condom and opened the tin of Dog food and proceeded to fill the Jonny with chum. after knotting the end I placed it into a pan of cold water and gradualy heated it untill it was hot throughout.
After allowing it to cool for a few minutes, we served it up to him. How my mother kept a straight face I have no idea, but the plate came back empty except for a few shreds of burst latex.
About 2 days later he was told what he had eaten. needless to say.. the complaining stopped. and he moved out couple of weeks after.
Every Dog has his Day. Unfortunately our dog had to make due with a steak for his tea that night.
Length TROJAN
(Sun 21st Sep 2008, 10:06, More)
Whinging Haggis
Not sure if i may have already posted this particular tale of Scottish woe here before but just in case.... here goes...
back about 15 years ago, my mother ran a hotel which catered for students going to the local college. at once point we had one particular student who was very vocal about EVERYTHING. Complaining about anything he could lay his eyes on and basicly being a pain in the ass to everyone in the place.
People were generally sick to the back teeth with him. Not just my mother and the staff but the other residents aswell.
Enter me, with a truly disgusting scheme which involved a Durex and a tin of Pedigree Chum.
My mother approached him asking him if he would like to hve a traditional Haggis for his dinner one night. His face lit up and he eagerly accepted the offer. BRILLIANT! Time for my plan to spring into action.
I took the condom and opened the tin of Dog food and proceeded to fill the Jonny with chum. after knotting the end I placed it into a pan of cold water and gradualy heated it untill it was hot throughout.
After allowing it to cool for a few minutes, we served it up to him. How my mother kept a straight face I have no idea, but the plate came back empty except for a few shreds of burst latex.
About 2 days later he was told what he had eaten. needless to say.. the complaining stopped. and he moved out couple of weeks after.
Every Dog has his Day. Unfortunately our dog had to make due with a steak for his tea that night.
Length TROJAN
(Sun 21st Sep 2008, 10:06, More)
» Will you go out with me?
The oldest line in the book...... But it WORKED! :O
When I met my current GF we went out for a christmas shopping expedition.
To cut a long (and very boring) story short, my cat had just had kittens so I invited her back to see them. She never went back home after that.
Who says the corny lines don't work?
Length: 7 1/2 years so far.
(Sat 30th Aug 2008, 18:17, More)
The oldest line in the book...... But it WORKED! :O
When I met my current GF we went out for a christmas shopping expedition.
To cut a long (and very boring) story short, my cat had just had kittens so I invited her back to see them. She never went back home after that.
Who says the corny lines don't work?
Length: 7 1/2 years so far.
(Sat 30th Aug 2008, 18:17, More)
» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.
That Bastard!
During the early 80's I was (and still am) a huge WWF wrestling fan. and I collected a load of the LJN rubber action figures.. I had about 40 of them including some quite rare ones (such as a first edition Andre the Giant figure which was only in production for just under a year before it was remodelled and re-released) The had been brought over from the US with me when we emigrated. Well to cut a long story short. My mother re-married and the idiot she married HATED me, so out of spite took the one thing I loved (those figures) and gave them away without my knowledge to the first bunch of kids he could find. (what a twat.. I will never forginve him for that, just add it to the list of other things I will never forgive him for)
Anyway.. I was looking at some collectors sites and come to find out that several of those figures are worth in excess of £50 each now and the rest average around the £10 mark. Not bad considering I paid like $8 (£4) for each of them new.
(Sat 16th Aug 2008, 19:14, More)
That Bastard!
During the early 80's I was (and still am) a huge WWF wrestling fan. and I collected a load of the LJN rubber action figures.. I had about 40 of them including some quite rare ones (such as a first edition Andre the Giant figure which was only in production for just under a year before it was remodelled and re-released) The had been brought over from the US with me when we emigrated. Well to cut a long story short. My mother re-married and the idiot she married HATED me, so out of spite took the one thing I loved (those figures) and gave them away without my knowledge to the first bunch of kids he could find. (what a twat.. I will never forginve him for that, just add it to the list of other things I will never forgive him for)
Anyway.. I was looking at some collectors sites and come to find out that several of those figures are worth in excess of £50 each now and the rest average around the £10 mark. Not bad considering I paid like $8 (£4) for each of them new.
(Sat 16th Aug 2008, 19:14, More)