b3ta.com user bangorip
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New to this but i'll pick it up. just need the time to do some of the picture thingys.

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» My most gullible moment

gullible or just a bad day.
A good few years ago me and my mates were sitting in one of their houses. One of them is drinking a can of coke. As we're sitting there I tell her to look at the bottom of the can since it 'looked strange'.
Well, she did look but rather than lifting the open can higher than her eye level she proceeds to tip it upside down pouring coke all over her lap.

Oh how we laughed.
(Sat 23rd Aug 2008, 15:41, More)

» Pet Peeves

Lying thick bastards!
People who claim to be dyslexic when really they're just fucking thick. Just because i'm lazy I dont go around telling people i'm disabled. I don't have a problem with dyslexia but don't try to cover your retardedness with it.
(Sun 4th May 2008, 22:21, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

worth telling?
I dont know why it took so long for me to think of putting this one out there.

Recently I was away in a foreign country for a networking event (read: piss up) with the company I work for. There was about 70 of us there and for the function on the first night all lager and wine was free.
Obviously this was to be abused as much as possible so i was at the bar for more every few minutes. I managed to consume a few gallons myself but I have nothing on the person this is about, who shall just be called A.

While everyone was making merry and drinking as much as they could, A managed to get so massively inebriated that, still not that far into the night, they collapsed on the dance floor and shit themselves infront of everyone, including the sales director. She spent the night in hospital on a drip and didnt show up again.

To anyone this would be seriously embarrasing, think how many times worse A must have felt as they are further up the ladder than most of the viewers of their scatalogical misadventure.

Queue massive loss of respect and snorts of laughter everytime they walk past at work now.

Shame really, they seem like such a nice person.

Length? I think it would have been more easily measured in volume
(Wed 2nd Apr 2008, 19:20, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

For one....
I like watching blind football just for a laugh.

For two...
I saw some child slip on the ice and fall over when i was driving to work this morning. I nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard.
(Mon 15th Dec 2008, 21:44, More)

» Food sabotage

I've been on the recieving end a few times
Firstly: Years ago me, my brother and sisters were making ice lollies. Being kids we had left a mess on the bench. My father being the family loving chap he is decided that he would teach us a lesson by mixing washing up liquid in them when we had gone to bed. I only hope my parenting skills equal his.

Secondly: My girlfriend once phoned and asked if i would go round as she'd baked a cake for me. Great I thought, what a sweet girlfriend I have. Not so. Her and her friends had decided to spend the day making a coffee chocolate cake with heaps of other awful ingredients in it. It was a while ago but i'm sure it tasted fine until the tomato sauce flavour leaped out.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 18:48, More)
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