b3ta.com user deshnoodle
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Profile for deshnoodle:
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    my name is lee and i like biscuits. a LOT.


    i made these things with string and magnets and some lovely pieces of stuff cut from tiny little shoes::

    once i got an image into the mailout.



    have you ever wondered what would happen if edward woodward didn't have 4 d's in his name??


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» Faking it

i was a teenage conterfieter
back when i was about 15 dad had a small time business printing pub menus and the like. so we had some half decent kit sat in the back of the house (corel draw 3.0, motherfuckers!). this gave me the chance to run a handy sideline in fake id cards and that sort of thing. all pretty harmless stuff.. and i was doing a great public service by helping younger and younger people to drink enough to make them forget they were in mansfield.

then one day a friend's dad, who's in the construction trade, grabs me in the village local, hands me a rather formal and legal looking european union insurance document, and asks for 20 more. with the strict instruction that i speak of this to nobody.

so i set to work and, i have to say, produced a fucking masterpiece. when i delivered the product the only way my customer could identify the original was by the watermark on the paper (i was good, but not *that* good). he said 'do you know what these are for'.. i said 'no'.. he said 'be glad' and handed me £20.

the story ends there. and i don't know what bothers me most... the fact that i probably helped put a bunch of brickies in danger of being locked up for working under forged documents, or the fact that the miserly cunt only paid me £20 for doing so.
(Sat 12th Jul 2008, 10:46, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

i'm a massive liberal pansy....
...and i'll tolerate most degrees of stupidity if it'll help make some over-sensitive fools feel slightly less offended... but i still like arguing with radical feminists because they're all as mad as a bag of lorries. the best lark was staying up way into the night having a heated internet debate about whether the word 'history' was perpetuating the evils of patriarchal society, and whether 'herstory' should be popularised to counter this.
(Fri 23rd Nov 2007, 21:05, More)