» Family Holidays

No family holidays for me...
I was fortunate enough never to have to bear a family jaunt as my parents had a habit of working bizarre shifts at the same time. Instead for one week every year I would be thrown off to Scout camp to put up tents, tie knots and generally enjoy a homo-erotic experience with others.

My one "family" experience of this came when I was eleven, after my first camp. My parents came to pick me up on the Sunday (traditionally the last day) and took me for food in a nearby town. Being a Sunday, and being the non-shopping Sunday void of the early 90s, nothing was open, and I needed a piss.

Of course, rather than taking me home, we went for a walk. I forget which hills we walked over, but I remember an absence of refreshment booths and washroom facilities. It was getting close to evening now - and I was getting tired.

So, lagging 30 or so feet behind my parents, natural instinct took over and out came little Kris. Quite how I managed to walk and piss without any splashback onto myself I don't know. I just remember the look on my mum's face as she looked behind to see her pride and joy making his impression on the westcountry.

To this day she swears there were others around her were aghast at what they had seen, although I can't verify that. But that one moment is probably the reason I've never had a proper "family" holiday.
(Fri 3rd Aug 2007, 18:09, More)