b3ta.com user Total_Waster
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» Family Holidays

On a bus
Me and the family used to go on various holidays to tourist locals in and around spain.
On one occasion we went to benidorm (oh the glamour) and we got a bus to some town a bit away.
I was around 14 at the time, and sitting on this sweltering bus, trundeling into the most run down town you have ever seen. Dont even take that romantically, it wasn't rusticly run down, like what you would think of southern italy or something. It was like the outskirts of manchester with added dirt, heat, and spaniards.
Well i was quite bored on said bus, so my head started to wander.
When your 14, your mind only generally wanders towards one thing...on this occasion my mates porn he had leant me the week before.
The bus finnaly came to a stop and the cattle that were all us tourists were unloaded, to which my mum pointed out 'whats that in your pocket?'....shit....

If you know the joy of untimely 'excitement' when there is really nothing you can do about it...you know where to click.
(Tue 7th Aug 2007, 12:46, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

a friend o' mine
This is possibly total rubbish, but i love the story so much, i want it to be true.
A friend once told me of one of an escapade when he and some friends went round a village rounding up the locals wandering cats in a bag.
When they had a sufficient amount, they transferred the cats from said bag into a wheely bin and shut the lid.

Obviously the cats were not best pleased, and started their own equivalent of a cage match.
After a while, etiher they had killed each other, had come to terms with the situation, or were to tired to continue their scrap, so all was quiet.

Now, a bin full of angry cats could be considered entertaining, but a bin full of quiet cats is nothing...so time to re-engage some excitement.

At this point one dare-devil hopped into a garden, stole a dog, then put it into the bin!

The end of the story, i dont know as the offenders ran away. I like to think that no animals died, so I dont have to come to terms with laughing at potentially dead animals....ignorance is bliss.
(Fri 20th Jul 2007, 16:24, More)

» Crazy Relatives

My Gran
once asked me when I start my new job 5 times in 1 hour, oblivious that she had asked me before...She then proceeded to try her hardest to shit in her own mouth...well thats a lie, but she does ask questions over and over again.

(w00t, first post)
(Tue 10th Jul 2007, 12:21, More)