» Performance

Leeds Festival 2004 + Johnny Vegas's Belly
After imbibing far too much of the apple based fun juice I found myself in a semi-comatose state sat in the comedy tent at Leeds Fest 2004. My travels along the day had somehow involved me being dressed in a boiler suit, an England flag and a terrorist-esque balaclava.

On walks Johnny Vegas and he immediately drags me up on stage and makes me wrestle with him, he forces me to lick his nipple, light his cigarettes and he sold everything from my pockets for the grand total of 58p. To cap it all off I grabbed some drumsticks and pumped out some wonderful drum rolls as he presented one-liners.

I was stuck up there for 45 minutes and it was all in all pretty good fun! We walked off stage in a blaze of drunken glory and the moment we were out of sight he was a perfectly pleasant, well spoken, well balanced individual. We shared a pint. I was then promptly grabbed by security and thrown back into the crowd and told to fuck off!

I thought that would be the last I would ever see of Johnny but rather randomly about 3 months later he rang my home phone drunk at 2am after a mate saw him at a gig and gave him my phone number. Quite frankly the oddest experience of my life!
(Sat 20th Aug 2011, 21:15, More)