b3ta.com user Alzo
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Me and my pal ET

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» Self-Inflicted injuries

Once you pop...
Walking home from the pub with my mate one night, we spotted a pringles can sitting perfectly upright on the pavement.

Turns out it was a metal pipe cemented into the ground. I laughed all the way home, with my mate trailing several yards behind me with a fucked foot.
(Thu 28th Nov 2013, 21:25, More)

» Family Holidays

Wild, wild horses.....
Most of my summer holidays were spent visiting my aunt in York. "How was Majorca? Bet it wasn't a patch on Fulford!"

Anyway, my aunt stayed close to some stables and me, my brothers and cousin would often play hide and seek there. This involved my oldest bro and cousin running away to climb dangerous things whilst me and my other bro looked for them. And so it came to be that we were at the stables feeding a chained up horse some grass. I accidentally shove a large, dry piece of grass up said horses nose. As I leaned over to pick some more grass, the horse swung at me, missed, and picked my brother up by his face, before dropping him bloody-faced and screaming on the ground.

After that, everything was a haze of worried parents and reading pop up books in a hospital waiting room. The last thing I remember is my oldest brother claiming to have seen a nurse put a massive needle right up my injured bro's arse.

Good times, good times.
(Thu 2nd Aug 2007, 18:35, More)