» Shoplifting

World's worst shoplifter
When I was younger I worked as a sales monkey at WHSmiths - it was a safe job for a 16 year old to have, piss easy with very little going on and good pay.

When PSPs were new we used to have them behind the tills on a shelf, all nicely in their boxes.

Now one Saturday I was on until closing (6pm); it had been a very dull day and my collegue (another 16 year old girl) and I were just killing time until it was time to cash up and leave.

There was only a couple of people on our floor and eventually one of them- a kindly looking elderly man; you know the type- decided to buy something. While I was serving him, my collegue rang up to the office to get the cash boxes.

Out of nowhere a scrawny, impetigo ridden chav of about 20-odd years lept over the counter and grabbed a PSP from the shelf.

Now, I'm not the most intimidating person in the world, but like hell was he getting a PSP for nothing when I couldn't, so before he could take more than a few steps I caught up with him and demanded it back.

And he did. Stuttering that he was only looking at it. Right.

He managed to scarper before the security guard (who was useless, I might add) got to him, but I was feeling quite pleased with myself.

Surely "Rule #1" - when you have something, the sales monkey's can't stop you and you are in the clear you RUN, not give it back when asked...




^_^ First post *pop*
(Fri 11th Jan 2008, 12:02, More)

» School Days

In 6th form
there were a couple of lads who were kind of geeky, but in a more eccentric way that would have labelled them as insane if they weren't kids of middle class families. They were decent enough, but obviously didn't think in the same way as most people, so were prone to saying odd things or doing things for their own amusement (such as training themselves to speak and write backwards, including maintaining the original intonation), regardless of it was funny or appropriate for their age.

The best thing they did (of that I actually witnessed) was produce about half a dozen misspelled notes, written in felt tip on A4 paper saying things along the lines of "OuT of Orda, dnt UsE!!!" (actual spelling of these notes is lost to history) and they proceded to stick them on things which couldn't be out of order, such as chairs, bins and doors, including the one to the staff room.

They then, from their seats in the common room, laughed as people would go to put their rubbish in a bin, read the sign and then go and find a different bin to use, or avoid a fully functional chair in the common room for a week.

The staff caught on quickly and the cleaners disposed of as many signs as they could find, but before long they had branched out, and these notes appeared in classrooms and even into lower school, before they got bored and found something else to do.

It was entertaining in a very low key way.
(Fri 30th Jan 2009, 13:50, More)

» Pubs

Japanese pubs
are kind of non-existent; they have yatai (food/drink stalls) and various small food places that advertise ramen but are frequently just occupied by japanese businessmen drinking shochu and sake, but nothing like a proper pub (usually).

Although there is a rather nice british pub in Hakata selling Guinness, Strongbow and Newcastle Brown Ale. They even do proper fish and chips. Mint. Plus, the Japanese like nomihoudai - all you can drink deals- for about 1000-2000 yen. Also, in Japan, drinking on the street isn't illegal, so there is nothing inherently wrong with buying convenience store cheap booze and sitting in the street drinking like chavs.

I miss going to the pub :(
(Fri 6th Feb 2009, 3:49, More)

» School Days

Science
had been interesting at school, mostly because I was A) good at it as per GCSE standards B)in the top set because of A) and so had decent teachers who not only knew their stuff but weren't that pressured to make sure we knew the syllabus - most of us were more than capable. And so they were more relaxed and prone to messing about like pouring ethanol on the table and lighting it, or sticking the gas cable into washing up liquid and lighting that, and, even better than those pyromanical spectacles, letting us doing the 'teacher only' experiments that student's shouldn't perform.

On one such day I had both of my hands bandaged up; a skiing accident had left me with a multitude of broken fingers and a mangled thumb, complete with the nail completely ripped off. As hands are difficult to set all that the hospital did was tape them all together, with a splint to make my thumb straight.

I was paired up with my friend (she did most of the practical stuff) and we set up our experiement. I can't remember exactly what we were supposed to be doing, but involved some white powdery substance and hydrochloric acid in a boiling tube.

The teacher had given his lecture on what we were supposed to be doing and hoping to achieve, and how we had to be CAREFUL with the boiling tubes; he didnt wan't any broken and every one returned to the box at the end of the lesson.

Well, everything is going well - the first half of the experiment went according to what we expected, and we were slowly increasing either how much acid we were using or how much of the powder (I can't remember which) but for some reason, and why is probably down to it being too hot, the boiling tube exploded.

All over me.

The teacher was drawn to the lound sound of a mini explosion and my subsequent shout of being shocked. No damage was done, everything was fine...

...until i noticed my right hand was on fire. The bandages covering my mangled right hand had caught fire in the confusion, but because of the dressing I hadn't felt it. I panic and shake my hand about, until the teacher reaches us and throws his jacket over my hand to starve the flame.

It was more embarassing than painful, I guess. Thankfully we didn't get a bollocking for breaking the boiling tube.

Length? About 10 seconds before I realised.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2009, 6:05, More)

» Siblings

Younger brother
I have a younger sister and brother and there is a relatively small gap between us; two years between me and my sis and then 2 years between her and my brother. This meant that as kids we could all theoretically play with each other as we are of a similar age. In reality it meant that me and my sister ganged up against my brother a lot (I didn't really like her as a kid either but she was the lesser of two evils), who was the baby of the family, the only boy and spoilt.

We used to do all sorts to him-nothing really that bad but just little things like;
-tie him up and gag him with a sock he couldn't interfere with our games,
-tell him elaborate stories of mosters living in his wardrobe and under the bed, so that he had a contast fear of them and made my dad check EVERY NIGHT that they wern't there.
-dress him up in our clothes (He looked very much like my sister when he was younger, same face, so he didnt look that bad in a frilly dress)
- tell him that he could only WATCH us playing, because he would ruin the game otherwise

I also had an older brother who died when he was a baby (before i was born), but there are many photos of him around the house, and it is a common assumption amongst guests that the photos of the baby boy are of my younger brother.

My sister and I used this to our advantage a lot. I think the worst things we have ever said to him is "if (Nikkusama's older brother) was still alive, you would have never had been born!" and "you are just a replacement!"

Nowadays I get on with my siblings because I rarely see them. I wonder if he remembers any of this...

length etc.
(Thu 1st Jan 2009, 3:41, More)