» Kids

Ahh Nephews
Specifically my youngest nephew.

There he was, at about 5 or 6 years old in Nursery. They were doing "crafts" (cutting shapes out of paper). The teacher notes young Jake (for that's his name) looking very grumpy, having just thrown down his scissors. He's glaring at the paper.

"What's wrong Jake" the teacher, unwisely, asks.

"Well, I fucked that up" comes the reply
(Sat 19th Apr 2008, 8:57, More)

» How nerdy are you?

Nerdy? Well, you judge
Met Joss Whedon - Twice
Met all the cast members of Firefly - Not quite check (Damn you Gina Torres!)
Have signed box set of aforementioned Firefly - Check
Own the complete Buffy box set - Check
Actually in the Resident Evil:Extinction novelisation and do NOT die because of Zombies - Check
Extensive games collection - Check
Extensive RPG collection - Check
Extensive DVD collection - Check
Extensive Comic Collection - Check
Own Babylon 5 "standees" - Check

and there's a lot more besides..

My job? computers..
My relationship status - Single

So, Am I nerdy?
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 19:08, More)

» Karma

Karma? And then some boyo!
I've never been one for the ladies. I like them fine, but 99% of the time, they end up as friends and nothing more. Hence my current marital state of "single"

Back in 2005 I was living in Cardiff and working nearby for a electricity company. I started seeing this girl, I'll call her Jen because that was her name.

I liked her a lot, she was my first girlfriend, and my first in a lot of other things as well. I was falling for her in a big way.

We'd see each other most weekends, and occasionally, I had a phone call that she was on her way to see me. She lived about an hours drive away with her brother.

Amazed by the level of attention I was getting from a reasonably attractive person of the opposite sex, I was starting to fall in love with her.

I called her one evening, as she'd been complaining of an ex-boyfriend stalking her and she was worried. I was too, after all, I didn't want her getting hurt or scared. On this occasion, her brother answered the phone and asked me never to call that number again. I was a little confused.

Over the next few months, my life started to fall to pieces. The company moved location, I started to run low on funds and had to abandon the flat I had and move back in with parents, and generally start to rebuild my life. The only good thing I had going was Jen.

Only it wasn't.

Over a period of two weeks, I went from being happy and in love to finding out Jen didn't live with her brother, but with her boyfriend, and that she wasn't only two-timing him with me, but with three other people. This girl who I worshipped referred to me as "one of her bits on the side"

I felt pretty sick at this point. My life had gone into the crapper within 3 months.

One evening, while my parents were out. I took all of the pills I had (Anti-depressants, painkillers, sleeping pills) and a large glass of water and laid them on the table in front of me. I stared at them for hours, gathering up the courage to take them, when my IM pinged and a friend appeared. She guessed pretty much from my responses that I was down, and I told her about the pills. Despite being in the US, and this being 3am, she got off IM, and called me. We spent about an hour talking, with me crying most of the time. She told me to put the pills away. I credit her with saving my life that night. (Thanks Da)

My life took a long time to put back together. I left the company I was with because it still put me in contact with Jen. I found a job closer to home which paid for a holiday in the USA, then left that job to work in England. From there, the company has moved me from England to the UAE where, instead of a crappy one bedroom flat in the Roath area of Cardiff, I have a 2 bedroom villa near the mountains and Persian Gulf.

And Jen? I couldn't give a flying funk where she is. the last I heard is that her live in boyfriend had kicked her out, she was on antidepressants (which I haven't needed in years), living with one of her other bits on the side and generally living like a chav.
(Sun 24th Feb 2008, 10:48, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Witness? Technically suppose
I did witness it..

from the passenger seat... and the driver seat... and the rear seats.

As a younger Thatguy, I worked for a local second hand car dealer, who also did accident repair for the local police force & ambulance service. (The same place that I left after being "greased")

When I first arrived, I was intrigued to see a Ford Sierra Cosworth in full marked up police clobber. The engine, gearbox and front suspension was missing. Turns out it had hit something up the arse and needs a new front end. Once this work was done, we rebuilt the car and gave the local station a ring to advise them it needed roadtesting.

"Sure thing" said the gullible officer. "Just tell me where you'll be driving it and ensure that you do not speed, use the lights or siren or generally behave as though you're in a police car"

"OF COURSE" says we "We're completely trustworthy"

The "peace" of the M4 was shattered that afternoon as we took turns giving the car the full beans, blues and twos going and cars diving out of our way. Those Cosworths didn't half shift you know?
(Thu 21st Feb 2008, 12:51, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Life is full of twats...
And I've met a fair share of them.

In my vast and varied life, I've worked as a Motor Vehicle Technician (mechanic) where I was introduced to the "wonderful" world of latent homosexuality and institionalised bullying of the workshop. I was warned by my father who worked at the same place that the tradition of "greasing" (applying thick layers of axle grease to intimate parts of the bodY) was still prevalant. Being a younger, much fitter and slimmer ThatGuyThere, I avoided this for several weeks (even going as far as to dive headfirst over the store room counter to safety.

It took five people, and a military level of organisation to trap me and apply the grease. This was utterly humiliating, and I think I surprised the manager of the business when I marched into his office and told him to stuff his job. I then set off to walk the 2 miles home (no car at the time). He caught up with me, tried to persuade me to go back, but I wasn't having any of it. As he drove off, an elderly guy walked up and said he had got the registration number of the car if I wanted to call the police. He had thought the guy had tried to abduct me. (I was 16 at the time) I eventually returned, only to be made redundant a few weeks later.

Fast forward a few years and I'm working for an electricity company (very small, rhyming with Peconomy Ower) and I'm doing the team leader style job for a small "Problem management" team (Looking after customer issues like meter readings etc)

A young guy joins the team, and between his joining and leaving, left much of us unimpressed by the gargantuan amount of bullshit that spewed from the wrong end of his body. This included ringing every local radio station one day because he was desperate to go to a "gig" He spent hours on the phone, saying he'd do ANYTHING to get tickets (he didn't offer to commit suicide though, sadly).

The same oik announced he "loved" a local DJ by the name of Lisa Lashes(?) and claimed to have "got off with her" at a gig. He also claimed that one of his ancestors was knighted and became Sir Loynes, and that's how the name sirloin of lamb came about. His leaving left us with a sense of relief. Another person at the same company became friends with one of my closer colleagues (her and I spending about six months as a team inputting contracts) It transpired that this newer woman didn't like me, and spent a lot of time insulting me. My friend ignored this, until there was a large contract backlog, and I pitched in. Due to the fact a bonus scheme came into place, offering money if you exceeded a number of contracts in a day. Being a clever sort of ThatGuy, I worked out that I could input three contracts at a time (using the process lag that occurred at each stage). This meant my total was always high which annoyed this person. What annoyed her further was being bollocked for making huge amounts of errors (Either not finishing the input or mixing them up). She left not long after, still cursing my name I expect.

My current job is great, the only idiot I have is the CEO, and he's scared of me, which makes life much much easier.

Fear! It's what makes Britain Great
(Sun 27th Jan 2008, 12:38, More)