» Dumb things you've done

giving birth
suggest to my wife at 4 this morning that was it ok if i went back to sleep, this was just after she told me that her waters have broken, to which i replied, 'first babies take ages is it ok if i go back to sleep'

still no baby yet.. . . . . .
(Thu 27th Dec 2007, 9:57, More)

» Council Cunts

FIRE!!
posting this on behalf of the wife who is too lazy to get her own username.

many moons back, before we met she was at uni in london and lived on Commercial Road in the East End, a few doors up from the fire station.

So one day as she is walking along to the tube she turns down Adler Street to see a motorbike in huge flames. As it is very early saturday morning there are not too many people about so she runs round the fire station, in through the doors which are open and tells the first fireman she sees about the motorbike.

said fireman then tells her that he can't do anything and she'll have to ring 999 and report it and she must leave the firestation as she's not allowed in there.

so the wife goes outside, pulls out her brick - like mobile (yep, she's that old) and calls 999. 10 minutes later 3 fire engines pull up and out jumps the chap she spoke to in the station and they put out the fire, jump back in the engines and drive 10yards round the corner back to the station.

complete lunacy!

length/girth?
chance would be a fine thing now she's up the duff i'm getting none.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 20:58, More)

» Cheap Tat

a free car
im not sure whether something that was free can be considered cheap tat?
anyway a Kia rio!
did someone get paid to design this car? im 5'10 and i have to have the seat all the way back to drive it, which renders the back seat useless as only a Korean would be able to fit there legs in, either that of a todler

although its free and we thank the father in law for his hand me down's its fecking awful

but for now i shall drive it till the father in law changes car again, surely if he is giving them to me i should have a say in what he buys?

length - a silver looking dogturd created by a giant dog
(Sat 5th Jan 2008, 23:32, More)

» Dumb things you've done

fancy a 5 knuckle shuffle?
had been preparing dinner and a few hours later fancied having a quick wank, shame i had been chopping chillies

i had to stand outside to get rid of the burning and water just made it worse

somepeople would pay for that kind of sensation

i wouldnt wish this sensation on anyone cept maybe girls aloud
(Sun 30th Dec 2007, 18:57, More)

» Pathological Liars

i am one
this is the best question of the week ever, in fact as soon as i saw it when i got in from work i was over joyed at the ammount of amazing stories i would be emphatically telling friends all week.

Gosh, B3TA you are spoiling us
(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 18:00, More)