» Abusing freebies

Freebie abuse
Don't really recall abusing freebies myself but I've seen how its done:

1 - Get married and have some kids
2 - Go on holiday
3 - Send one of the kids off to stay at a friends or family members place
4 - Claim the kids missing and that you can't go home without them
5 - Wait for someone to set up a charity site for your "missing" kid

Hey presto! Free holiday! If the local police start creating a bit of a fuss though, piss off home sharpish but see if you can't blag a few days off work in the process...
(Mon 12th Nov 2007, 20:57, More)

» Desperate Times

Desperate...
In my teenage years, a friend and I decided to venture into the depths of The Queens Woods (just next to Highgate Woods) in North London to consume much alcohol and smoke a few doobs.

We got some of those "stick in the ground" lanterns and consumed a few beers...unfortunately, the wicks on our lanterns were burning low and occasionally blowing out. Disgusted with the unreliability of my disposable lighter, I trudged off for a well needed piss to leave Tony to reignite the only source of light we had left. Returning to our plot spot, in the middle of quite a large woodland in the middle of the night, I find my old pal Tony pouring Stella Artois into his Zippo because "all alcohol is flammable...isn't it?". Needless to say, our venture back OUT of the woods took a few more hours than our trip into it...

Desperate times? Desperate measures? Not really, but I do still think that old Tone is a bit of a cunt...
(Wed 21st Nov 2007, 16:56, More)