b3ta.com user Ghoti Fingers
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» Terrified!

I was once walking home at night behind a woman
She started walking faster in that "trying not to look like you're walking fast" way. I picked up my speed a bit, too. She then started walking even faster and so did I.

Then she broke into what I can only describe as a "gentle jog", and when I did as well she went into an all-out sprint.

By that time we were only about 200 metres from my house, but when I got home I was out of breath and sweating.

To this day I don't know what we were running from.
(Thu 5th Apr 2012, 15:02, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Where Ancrenne used to work
You could hire wine glasses and long glasses for cocktails. You could also hire pitchers in which to mix your Pimms. This was a free service, but of course there was a small (refundable) charge.

Or, as my boss said, to a rather charming, and amply bosomed young lady, 'there's a deposit on your jugs'.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 18:21, More)

» Stags and Hens

My guilty pleasure is answering QOTW almost six years late
not pissing in my own mouth, nor mentioning sheds, nor staying about from anybody's bins. I'm proper retro with my references.
(Thu 30th Jan 2014, 21:30, More)

» Dumped

She was a bit kinky and wanted to have sex in the car
But I didn't fancy taking her up the ring road.
(Fri 4th Jan 2013, 18:50, More)

» Homemade Booze

I used to have a few apple trees in the back garden ...
... so one year I decided to have a go at making scrumpy. It wasn't particularly potent but it turned out it was very good to cook with.

My girlfriend obviously agreed as she told me she loved having my pork in cider.
(Sun 7th Dec 2014, 18:50, More)
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