b3ta.com user Uhmfhshhghd
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» Stupid Dares

The consequences aren't particular impressive...
But it WAS stupid. And maybe worth sharing.

I was 13 at the time, at school, and one of the guys in class had brought in a video.

"Check it out boys, I've got some porn!". Cue impressed "ooooh" from all the other guys in the class, myself included.

Anyway, he left it in his bag and left it on his desk when he went to the Canteen for some food. A few of us sat there in the Form Room just staring at the bag of mystery and wonder.

"I bet it's just Bambi or something. Go on, Banwen... I dare you to put it on" one of them said, indicating the old school TV and VCR combo on one of those trolleys with a long extension power cord curled up behind it.

I uttered those immortal words (Which Dr Pepper totally stole from me for their ad campaign) "What's the worst that could happen?". And I grabbed the tape from his bag. Nervously approached the TV. Turned it on. And put the tape in.


It was porn alright. Everyone started laughing. My mission was a complete success. I had done the dare, entertained the masses, and would surely be elected to the highest possible popularity group in the school.

Well, almost. For not 2 seconds later, some of the older kids ran in saying "Eh, look lads! PORN! PORN! Check it out! PORN!" and before I could turn it off they had taken control of the situation. With a riotous chant of "PORNO! PORNO! PORNO!" they wheeled the TV out into the corridor... And gave it a hard push in one direction.

Next door, a teachers meeting just so happened to be adjourning. So, all the most senior members of staff open the door... And the first thing they see... Is black and white, hardcore porn rolling past, facing them.

Pretty stupid, eh? I got into quite a lot of trouble, I got the "Are you curious?" speech from Mum and the humiliation of a lifetime for the remainder of my time at Secondary school. I was the Porn-on-wheels boy.

Ah well, c'est la vie.
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 14:25, More)

» Too much information

In hindsight
Telling my friend that I would sell my self into slavery just to have passionate relations with a Digimon wasn't the best course of action.
(Thu 6th Sep 2007, 19:36, More)

» Voyeurism

Damn door to doors
My computer is, rather oddly, in my living room in full view of anyone coming down into our little road to my house if the curtains are open. However, usually, no one does.

So. I'm sitting at the computer and... Well. You know what happens when you're on computers. Without bothering to close the curtains, I began my illicit act.

Then some bloke, suit and tie, appears in my prehiperal vision. Strutting towards my door. I quickly say "Oh fiddlesticks" or something slightly stronger and attempt to wrestle the snake back into the cage as it were. I look out the window into the eye of the guy who doesn't stop strutting towards my door, but definitely makes eye contact with me.

When he knocked on the door I answered. He asked if my folks were home. With a slightly red face I said "nah."... He followed that up with a grin and the phrase "You don't have to look so ashamed and embarassed".

I said goodbye and closed the door.

.. And yes, I finished afterwards.
(Thu 11th Oct 2007, 22:37, More)

» Customers from Hell

Old men are creepy.
So I work in a supermarket on the Counters, so like, the deli and stuff. But also the bit which is basically fast food.

So I'm there selling cooked whole chickens, and this old guy comes up and I say "Hi mate what can I get ya?"

He leans over and whispers "Rape is impossible. Girl with knickers off runs faster than man with trousers around his ankles! Heehee!"

Then he walked off without buying anything.

Anyway I tried it and it turns out he was wrong.
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 15:50, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Misleading names...
The Art on Deviant Art wasn't "deviant" as much as it was full of catpeople.

And even worse than that, the first time I tuned in expecting to see "Desperate Housewives"...
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 22:11, More)
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