» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

my life is a movie trailer
i like to comentate on what im doing or on everyday things in the 'movie trailer guy' style - "in a small town, in quiet house. One man, one chance, starring arnold schwarzenegger.

"we haf to get outta here"

i dont know why but they always star arnie. maybe its cos its the only impression i can do!
(Sun 16th Mar 2008, 0:15, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

No i have not

(Wed 5th Mar 2008, 1:13, More)

» Personal Ads

hardly a personal add
but these all tend to be dating related posts.

my first (and only) attempt at a date from online.

ok ill set the scene:
there was a hot girl i used to work with in a busy officey type place, the kinda place that recruits almost as fast as people quit. She was about 5'4 curvy ('bout a size 12) with a cracking pair of....well lets just leave it at that. i always had a crush on her from afar but never really got round to talking to her or making a move, anyways as the production line of staff turnover continued i ended leaving and going on to an equally boring but better paid job and forgot all about this girl.

fast forward about 2 years and i was cruising around myspace and stumbled uppon her profile; the usual things, close up pics, lovely smile and beautiful face and i also spotted she was single so i took the leap and sent her a message. this went back and forward and became increasingly flirtatious so a date was arranged.

i got to the pub a little late and saw her sitting there, all 18 stones of her, her belly almost crushing her thighs as it pressed down onto them. she hadn't spotted me.

did i go over or did i run??

well i did what all young and honerable men would do. i feckin sprinted for it not stopping 'til i was home.

length? it was more her width i was running from!

pop! :) woot!
(Sat 15th Sep 2007, 4:09, More)

» Evil Pranks

i feel bad for this one
this prank must have been played by everyone here at some point!

anyways when i was in my early teens (about 10 years back now) we used to regularly have sleepovers at each others houses' and the game of dares would nearly always be played however the dares we played could only be played my mixing any 3 ingredients found in the kitchen and then daring another friend to drink it.
We would always have something at the ready to was the (regularly) putrid taste away.

anyways this time pete was the victim. pete was the slightly strange one of the group at no one really liked but he always seemed to be there. We distracted pete with the choice of ingredients while my brother and good friend kev pissed into his cola, added pepper, washing up liquid, milk, you know the usual rank tasting stuff.

pete then took a taste of his dare food, tomato ketchup mixed with milk and cod liver oil if i remember right. spitting this everywhere and showing a remarkable gag reflex he grabbed his cola bottle only to down a good few deep gulps before being struck by the taste of its foul contents.

his reaction was honestly the funniest thing i have ever seen!! green bubbles coming out of his mouth as he puked.


man i was a sick sick boy!
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 0:37, More)

» Your first cigarette

my first...
cost me 10p. now i pay a fiver a day on the bloody things!
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 18:54, More)