Profile for Captain Swab:
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- a member for 16 years, 7 months and 20 days
- has posted 0 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 2 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 3 qotw answers.
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» Customers from Hell
Idiot
I had the pleasure of working for a large chain of aquariums many years ago, lets call them the "Sea-Death Centres".
A customer once asked me- whilst staring into the biggest fish tank in the south of england at the time- "are those sharks real?". Now, i replied that they were actually holograms(un-surprisingly i had been asked this half-wit question a few times), because it would be far too dangerous to keep real sharks in an aquarium, Jaws 3 pretty much showed us the implications.
They very nearly bought the idea until one of said sharks savaged a mackerel that was sharing the display. I am a horrible liar apparently, fucking idiots. Oh, we also kept clockwork Jelly-Fish at one point too.
Not so much customers from hell, but definitely not from genetic diversity.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 18:55, More)
Idiot
I had the pleasure of working for a large chain of aquariums many years ago, lets call them the "Sea-Death Centres".
A customer once asked me- whilst staring into the biggest fish tank in the south of england at the time- "are those sharks real?". Now, i replied that they were actually holograms(un-surprisingly i had been asked this half-wit question a few times), because it would be far too dangerous to keep real sharks in an aquarium, Jaws 3 pretty much showed us the implications.
They very nearly bought the idea until one of said sharks savaged a mackerel that was sharing the display. I am a horrible liar apparently, fucking idiots. Oh, we also kept clockwork Jelly-Fish at one point too.
Not so much customers from hell, but definitely not from genetic diversity.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 18:55, More)
» Bastard Colleagues
JL
Lets call this guy James, a contracts manager for a groundworks firm in the south of england. Complete bullsh***er doesn't even start to touch this guy. His first tale was how harrowing the falklands war was for him, he saw a lot of good men killed out there, good friends, buddies.... he would be about 29-30 now so work that one out. Then it was the stint he'd done as a peace-keeper in Bosnia, got involved in a messy fire fight whilst stuck in one of the many trench type battlefields over there. He told me he didn't want to see any more bloodshed so he ducked down in the trench and popped his machine gun over the top and emptied his load, he even managed a single crystal down his face whilst telling me "i don't know how many blokes i killed that day, but a part of me died with them". He then went on to tell of his glory days as a european judo champion as a child and how he would go to different dojos around the country wearing a white belt pretending not to know anything then beating the shit out of everyone there, fucking amazing. A lot of gangster type stuff as well i.e sorting out groups of bouncers, picking up doorman like they were cuddly toys etc... All in all a complete twattock. Unfortunately i have worked with a fair few of these types, i mean the amount of page3 girls ex-boyfriends ive met is incredible, a lot of them in portsmouth of all places. There is loads more but it would take forever
(Sun 27th Jan 2008, 20:59, More)
JL
Lets call this guy James, a contracts manager for a groundworks firm in the south of england. Complete bullsh***er doesn't even start to touch this guy. His first tale was how harrowing the falklands war was for him, he saw a lot of good men killed out there, good friends, buddies.... he would be about 29-30 now so work that one out. Then it was the stint he'd done as a peace-keeper in Bosnia, got involved in a messy fire fight whilst stuck in one of the many trench type battlefields over there. He told me he didn't want to see any more bloodshed so he ducked down in the trench and popped his machine gun over the top and emptied his load, he even managed a single crystal down his face whilst telling me "i don't know how many blokes i killed that day, but a part of me died with them". He then went on to tell of his glory days as a european judo champion as a child and how he would go to different dojos around the country wearing a white belt pretending not to know anything then beating the shit out of everyone there, fucking amazing. A lot of gangster type stuff as well i.e sorting out groups of bouncers, picking up doorman like they were cuddly toys etc... All in all a complete twattock. Unfortunately i have worked with a fair few of these types, i mean the amount of page3 girls ex-boyfriends ive met is incredible, a lot of them in portsmouth of all places. There is loads more but it would take forever
(Sun 27th Jan 2008, 20:59, More)