b3ta.com user Tyburn
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A friend of mine, a Christian bold said turn the other cheek.

I dropped my pants and turned them both...

...my case comes up next week.

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» Tightwads

As an additional to SnowyTheRabbit's post...
You want a tightwad cunt of a landlord? I once lived in a place where the landlord (reputedly worth in excess of £7 million and at the time owning a quite large DIY store) refused for three years to replace the leaking upstairs bathtub (during which time whenever the upstairs resident (a house converted conveniently for tax reasons into two flats) took a bath, I had to place buckets in the lounge), didn't replace the broken boiler so that every time I wanted hot water I had to unscrew the shower head then switch it on to fill a tub and (and here's the point to it) when the nice neighbours (as opposed to the wankers who lived on the other side) offered in exchange for a small quantity of parts and material to replace the guttering for both himself and the landlord's place, he (the landlord) totally refused on the grounds that he would be giving away some of his stock, in spite of the fact that he would have got the work done for free.

And if you could follow that, join me in a chorus of "what a stupid wanker"
(Tue 28th Oct 2008, 0:02, More)

» Common

Maybe not common, maybe just sad.
But I stopped into a Tesco Express on my way home from work, only to find a gaggle of hoodrats in the queue in front of me, in their sweaty little palms clutched packets of pro-plus, the caffeine tablets with about the same strength as half an espresso.

I can only imagine they thought it to be some sort of legal substitute for speed.
(Wed 22nd Oct 2008, 10:29, More)

» Stuff I've found

My mum, god rest her soul
...once found a slightly battered but still serviceable zippo lighter had fallen into her handbag in the pub. A change of wick, a refill and it served me well for a good few years.

Mind you, she did "find" a few pub ashtrays and glasses had "fallen" into her handbag over the years too.
(Sat 8th Nov 2008, 1:08, More)

» Eccentrics

My local college is one of the only ones in the country which does a course in parapsychology.
The course tutor, a brilliant bloke who always approaches things with an open mind, lets you make up your own mind, and offers cynical and believing sides of the argument, always wears odd shoes.

He also lives in a thatched cottage with two dinosaurs in the front garden, and has a deep and sincere love of the colour purple (not the film, btw)

(mind you, I didn't notice about the shoes at first)
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 0:05, More)

» Tightwads

This may count as tight
I work in a hospital at the moment, "temp" contract helping out sterile services.

Two to three times a year I make a visit to London to put flowers down for my Mum and Granddad (at her request her ashes were laid to rest in his grave).

Sometimes, when I go out collecting instruments, I see stupid bastards putting disposable scissors in the sterile services box.

Usually these scissors are used for nothing more sinister than cutting dressings, but they still have to be disposed of.

I nick these scissors, and use them to cut the stems of the flowers, as it's a bit easier than getting a 3-pack of cheap-arse scissors from Tesco and having to throw 2 pairs away to avoid the possibility of me being arrested and charged with possession of a dangerous weapon.

(when I go to London, the cemetary is my second stop, straight after a quick pie and mash at Kelly's in Bethnal Green)

I suppose it's sort of cheap, but there are other factors to it, no sense in buying three pairs of scissors if you're going to throw them all away when you can pinch a pair from work for nothing.
(Tue 28th Oct 2008, 17:56, More)
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