b3ta.com user lustreboy
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I used to be a comedian, but now I garden in Bristol instead. It's much less head wrecky :D

here's a few things I made which make me laugh

(seems like a recurrant theme ;)

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Recent front page messages:

a few "classics"

ahhhhh, good to be back ;) xx
(Wed 13th Sep 2023, 9:18, More)

they don't make art like they used to...

(Thu 2nd Nov 2017, 22:26, More)


That's some good shit maaaan
(Fri 16th Sep 2016, 15:18, More)

more 70's dreamboats

(Tue 6th Oct 2015, 0:51, More)

I'm still far too angry to approach being funny

(Thu 14th May 2015, 16:59, More)

quick and easy and shit and prbbly bindunnnnn
that's the way I like them :D

(Sun 3rd May 2015, 19:10, More)

Wogan's in trouble with the Rozzers again!

(Fri 14th Jun 2013, 14:05, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles II

I once told Mark Thomas to get his tits out
he ripped me a new one of course, and it felt lovely :D
(Sun 15th Jun 2014, 19:20, More)

» Saying the Unsayable

funnily enough, it was a BO of staggering proportions
and I naturally waited until I lost my temper and said "frank, you fucking stink mate! shit!! have a shower, get some deoderant or something!!"

turns out he showered 'every day' and didn't agree with deodorant...

so I likened him to farting constantly all day long, and asked if he could stop it. it was fierce. he had a 5m radius around him that smelt like rotten pickled onions, and it was a hot summer in London with 20 people and 20 pcs and no aircon in a tiny room...

it did work, although these days I'd be more tactful and less "You fucking wreak mate, it's making us feel sick!" :)
(Fri 11th Jan 2013, 2:24, More)