» Voyeurism

I actually have two stories for this one.

Story One; Somewhere on the south coast in the summer having a day out with the family at age around 14. Clearly a time for raging hormones. I decided to take a wander down the beach looking for some nudists. On the way I came across a couple doing a little foreplay, well actually the guy was kind of pulling his ladies bikini bottoms down and biting on her ass cheeks, very strange. But it got weirder, as I neared the nudist zone I spotted (and im sure others mustve done? perhaps not) a strange man hidden under the cover of foliage and an umbrella in the dunes with a telephoto lense. I shit you not. Even worse a strange naked man walked past me baring all. I decided this was getting a bit too freaky and probably wasnt worth the accrued spank bank images i was hoping for, as I turned back the naked man again turned around and walked back past me displaying his bits. All a bit worrying. Fortunately that was around 1999, when everyone including me started getting the net, and naked flesh was easier after that...which brings me to story number two...

At uni I lived with what can only be described as a bunch of jokers. One of my housemates, James, had a profile on that Faceparty sight and another housemate had discovered the password and predictably changed James's faceparty details to say he was gay. So the next day he gets a chat invite from this guy "Dave". Dave was a homo looking for a good time and had clearly been wooed by James's faceparty profile. Once James realised he'd been set up he decided to pass the torch of rinsing to Dave. So he calls us in and we engage Dave in some saucy MSN chat, we want to see him, does he have a webcam? Well yes he does, but he wont put it on if James doesnt get one out. We peg it upstairs to Andy's room, get his webcam out and James resumes the chat, meanwhile the remaining 5 of us are crowded off camera watching.
Dave was fat, middle aged and decidedly ugly, he was in fact everything I would imagine a regular paedo to be, including this weird little grin. Dave seemed to think pulling his shirt up and rubbing his man tits would appear attractive. We encouraged James to show him some more skin, He got his muscles out, showed his boxered arse off a bit. Then Dave proceeds to get up, strip down to his little yellow thong and start doing a weird dance somewhat like a hula as he takes his pants down to reveal his little member dancing along with the motion. Que the lines on MSN "meet my friends" and we pan the webcam over to the five of us giving Dave the wanker motion. He scrambled to shut off his cam and left the chat, but to this day id lay money on him cracking one off after having enjoyed the humiliation. I on the other hand nearly pissed myself.

My first contribution to the boards after months of lurking.

Regards.
(Tue 16th Oct 2007, 23:11, More)

» Conned

The Real Hustle is definately bollocks
...ie what about the one with the car where they rent a car, take the stickers off and offer it for sale at a knock down price? There is a woman indoors who claims its her husbands car and blah blah getting people to leave a deposit on the car. Later all the depositers turn up and there is no car and nobody home. Now that is a great con...

...but first you have to steal a fucking house. They never explained that part.
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 16:12, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

Not the most expensive mistake but...
...quite an expensive mistake. I was on holiday is Spain last summer after finishing Uni, met a nice girl in the hostel. My last night before I go to Valencia we stay up all night chatting and eventually get to kissing. Anyways we go down to the station, kiss goodbye etc, then I get on the train to Valencia.
Whilst sitting on the train I realise I dont really want to go to Valencia, id rather stick around for a sure fire shag....but by now the train leaves. So I spend 3 hrs going to some pisspit town called Lineas Baeza, then buy a ticket back forfeiting my hostel reservation and rest of ticket to valencia, 3 hrs back....go and get a swanky hotel room in granada. Im thinking this will be "romantic" coming all this way back to see her. Easy result. Fail to get any sleep in afternoon. Go to hostel to see the girl and it turns out she is "kind of going to see this guy from Paris she met next week." So no loving then, que a lot of cash spent.

The worst thing is when i got up the next morning (after severe sleep deprivation) in the hotel room, and went for a cig on the balcony, I shit meself.

The moral of the story. Always do things now cause if you hestitate and stop and think about them they will turn to shit.

Regards,
(Wed 31st Oct 2007, 12:08, More)

» Conned

Stupid Tesco Staff.
Back when I was 17 some mates and I (they too were 17) went down to the tesco in Hemel Hempstead to procure a 24 pack of Carling Lager. It was about 10pm on a friday night so they had eyes for us. Before we even got to the till with the prize we were intercepted by a rather bitchy looking lady, clearly enjoying her role as a "Customer Service Supervisor" read "Till slave driver." Anyway she demanded that we ALL had to have ID to make the purchase so myself and my 2 friends all pull out our recently aquired driving licenses, and if you do the math each one says we are 17 - now perhaps it was the confidence with which we showed them or more likely the bitch couldnt add up, but she looked intently at each and then let us make the purchase! Happy times.

Incidentaly I worked at Tesco in stevenage as a 16/17 year old and you know how you see the young uns raise their hand to get authorisation for a sale? Well I never bothered and just sold alchohol as I pleased at 17. Corporate sabotage eh.
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 15:49, More)