b3ta.com user sheps
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» Spoilt Brats

This guy I once knew...
had to be the most spoilt little fucktard in the entire universe. We used to hang around with him when we were about 9 or 10, mainly because his single mum (anyone else spotted a pattern forming ?) had bought him this enormous go-kart thing that she used to let him hare around in at breakneck speeds without any concern for anyone else, god forbid if anyone complained, her "special one" could do no wrong.
He eventually pissed off to quite an exclusive boarding school at about 11, and by all accounts despite the fact that this school took him on some of the most fantastic field trips imaginable, and they even let him sit in on governors meetings (btw he was indignant when they wouldn't let him have a vote ! ) he still threw regular strops about how they didn't recognise his potential !
He also managed to knock-up one of the local girls, and even though all the teachers knew it was all brushed under the carpet.Even the local mayor had taken a shine to him. Then one day, completely out of the blue, he flipped and went on a rampage with a sword and killed most of the kids and teachers.

God that kid was a tit.
(Fri 10th Oct 2008, 19:41, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Kim Adams
A while ago me and a mate hatched a social experiment, find a picture of an average-looking girl online, make up a fake profile on Facebook , leave it dormant and see what happens. There were only 2 rules;
1) We weren't allowed to initiate contact with anyone.
2) Rip the piss out of anyone who messaged.

Fake Kim Adams now has 53 deviant and lonely friends, most of whom don't seem to understand that someone who regularly posts "doesn't exist" as her status updates and tears it out of them whenever they message her might not be all she seems to be. I might put some of the messages into a book one day.

Just a couple to whet your appetite;

"hey saw ur profile and wondered if u fancied a drink some time ! im james from xxxxxx just back from uni for x mas ! x"
"Sorry but I'm on at the moment and bleeding like a stuck pig."

and the african student , who despite me saying "Sorry, but I'm,like, a really big racist, like in the BNP , the KKK and everything, I don't think it would work :( " and , "you aint one of them africans like who is pretending to be the lawyer of the late president mbangwa who has $50,000,000 to give me if i give u my bank details ?" still wanted to meet for a drink.

Teh Interweb isn't safe !! Go outside !!!
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 17:57, More)

» The Boss

The only thing I look forward to at my shitty job is my Marmite on toast for lunch.

Now my boss has forbidden it.....
(Wed 24th Jun 2009, 9:49, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Another one...
About 5 years ago I worked in a fairly well-to-do seafood restauraunt that was rennovating and needed some new menu borders designing. I remembered that a guy I went to uni with yonks ago was always drawing beaches, sea views that sort of thing, but we hadn't spoken in about 5 years and had completely lost touch. So anyway, the old facebook comes to the rescue, he seems pleasant enough, and sure enough he is using his talents as a graphic designer and jumps at the chance to design our new menus. He asks what I want, I reply, just something with cockles and mussels on , that sort of thing. Anyway, he e-mails some stuff over to me, which I can't open, no probs he replies, and sends them over as jpegs.

And that, is my sea-shell not-working gifs.

(Gets coat)
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 19:51, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

The Jeopardy Version
Does anyone want to write a backstory to this one? I really can't be bothered.

Slow-Chelle Nit-Wanking Goth
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 20:45, More)
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