b3ta.com user Purple Jessop
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Purple Jessop:
Profile Info:

I am Purple Jessop, I have no time for coffee or western foodstuffs, I like to gamble and act masculine around teenage girls, and I really need a cup of drink.

I'm Northern, I love it and so does your father.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Accidental innuendo

Accidental Innuendo, eh?
Well, like in most northern families, my family tends to shorten the phrase "spilt Ocean Spray cranberry and blueberry juice" to the single word "shit", and likewise, we replace the word "laptop" with the two words "massive" and "penis", together of course, as a mighty phrase.

Needless to say, my cockney girlfriend was awful shocked when she came to stay and my mother screamed that I had "SHIT ON HER MASSIVE PENIS".

Even more shocked when I explained my family slang, and then explained again that the statement she made had nothing to do with juice and portable computers.

(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 22:55, More)

» Karma

Karma, eh?
I once boned my girlfriends mum then I got chili on my cock
(Thu 21st Feb 2008, 21:08, More)

» Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves, eh?
One of my many pet peeves are illiterate dwarves.

They're not big and they're not clever.

I am really sorry
(Wed 7th May 2008, 17:18, More)

» Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves, eh?
My pet peeves are any member of AlBertKaol and the Irish sounding one who flicked her bean once and had 200+ replies from other rubbish people. They also took the piss on the last question of the week, and it is quite clear to me they are trying to take over QOTW and turn it into an actual shite. That sounds impossible, but these people are so shite, they could well do it.


(Sat 3rd May 2008, 19:43, More)

» Conned

About a year back I was invited to a jolly in a formet soviet republic. Anyways, I seen this guy who I work with on Mayfair called Ramtin coming out of a brothel in Skopje, and he said he was all surprised, looked embaressed, red in the face, got his end away etc. I go in to this place and I see a decent (for a Macedonian) looking bird to whom I give fifty of my finest gold to. I ram her in the 'tang, and then i digged her in the head and ran off and bought new pants with afore-mentioned gold. Yessssssss, gerrin I thought, them me and Ramtin tuck some drugs
(Wed 24th Oct 2007, 12:15, More)
[read all their answers]