b3ta.com user fuzzyjumpers
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for fuzzyjumpers:
Profile Info:

Woman-being. Likes Pies. Northern.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Shops and Supermarkets

I used to work...
As a checkout lady at a well known supermarket. It rhymes with "Sorry Sons." I could probably fill up this QOTW with anecdotes and memories, but as it's Wednesday and we all just want to go home I shall share with you this one story.

So. It's about half 11 on a quite Tuesday morning and I'm minding my own business counting down the minutes till I get to go home when a magnificently drunk man staggers over to my till and plonks his few purchases on the conveyor belt. As they trundle ever closer, I notice he's attempting to buy a 2 litre bottle of cheap cider, amongst other items. As he is so sozzled, it would be illegal for me to sell it to him. I inform him of this. He doesn't take it kindly. After arguing with me about it for a few moments, he decides the best course of action will be to pick up an onion he's buying and throw it full pelt at my face. Because he is so drunk, he misses by about 5 miles. The security guard comes trundling over and escorts the gentleman off the premises. I have to fill in some forms, and because it's classed as a violent incident, I'm offered counselling, which I decline. Mr onion thrower is subsequently barred from all branches of the store.

TL;DR: A drunk man threw an onion at me.
(Wed 16th May 2012, 18:29, More)

» Why will you burn in hell?

I've kissed other ladies. And touched their boobies. And fannies.
(Fri 13th Jul 2012, 14:11, More)

» Shops and Supermarkets

A quickie...
(ooo err missus etc etc.)

One time a dude came to my till and bought nothing but 9 tubes of KY jelly, 4 boxes of condoms, 4 bags of grated cheddar and a balloon whisk.
(Wed 16th May 2012, 18:31, More)

» Guilty Laughs

I'm going to Hull...
On my way home from work just now I saw a four year old girl fall off her Dora the Explorer scooter and epically faceplant straight to the concrete. The best part was when her dad tripped over a loose bit of pavement and did exactly the same thing as he was running over to console her. There were giggles. I was wearing earphones, so I just pretended to be talking on the phone and carried on my merry way.

First post ^___^
(Tue 27th Jul 2010, 18:45, More)

» Iffy crushes

Lorraine Kelly.
I reckon she'd be dead mucky. And that accent *quiver* I am a 27 year old lady. This is not appropriate.
(Fri 7th Oct 2011, 17:55, More)
[read all their answers]