» Redundant technology

obselete printers...
I’ve got some empty printer cartridges for a recently obsolete
set of printers. Rather than chuck them out, I might amuse myself by sending
them to the Pentagon and the White House. I’ll put Robert Kilroy Silk or Nick Griffin’s
name as the return address. That should confuse people.
(Fri 5th Nov 2010, 11:55, More)

» Evil Pranks

Terrorism Trickery
We had a particularly annoying housemate several years ago-a gentleman of Irish descent who was one of the most lazy, stinking, amoral and bullshiting sons of bitches ever to walk the earth.

I can’t remember that many of his outrageous lies and depraved behaviours at the moment, suffice to say they were legion…

One of the most commonly encountered was that his father was active in the IRA (it was never specified whether this was a current situation, or something from the long distant past). Being young and naive we did not immediately condemn this as the utter sack of bull’s cocks it now seems it so obviously is.

We did however decide to call his bluff anyway-a trip to the town centre sorted us out for the purchase of some black balaclavas (I can’t believe you can buy these so easily. I can’t think of one innocent reason why someone would want one) from the market. One of us had already recently purchased a blank firing replica pistol from “Cash Converters” on a drunken whim some weeks previously…

Because the lazy swine never stirred from his stinking pit until late morning (at the earliest) we decided the ideal time to surprise him would be during the pre-dawn hours. The next day he was somewhat rudely awoken by 3 large men wearing balaclavas kicking him out of bed and pointing a gun at his head whilst demanding in outrageous “Oirish” accents “ARE YOU “LAZY STINKING BASTARD SENIOR’S” BOY???”

To give him his due, he did pretty much shit himself, so perhaps it was true after all…
(Mon 17th Dec 2007, 14:02, More)

» Stuff I've found

If I had a hammer...
A few years ago I was helping a friend break up an awful concrete patio that covered the entire back garden of the house he had bought.

After several hours of shifting huge blocks of concrete that the previous residents had inexplicably buried in the garden we found a ragged old plastic bag containing a large, albeit rusty and corroded hammer.

Not sure about anyone else, but I can only think of one reason why I would bury a hammer and then build a patio over it…

Whilst we were discussing what to do, as the majority of us were in favour of at least informing the police and handing it in (if only to ease our consciences and if the worse was to happen at least establish our innocence of any hammer murders), my friend’s father said “Oh no, you don’t want to do that. That’s a good hammer that is…”
(Fri 7th Nov 2008, 12:33, More)

» Tramps

Tramp Fishing
Nothing like a spot of Tramp Fishing to get the blood up.

It’s a sport I devised but never indulfged in in a competitive basis-all you really need is some cans of cheap but powerful alcohol, and sturdy rope and a high building (a multi storey car park would be ideal) in or near a city centre. Some friends and possibly some drugs might be useful as well.

From a few storeys up, dangle a can of alcoholic beverage within grasping range of a passing tramp-as soon as they grab hold, heave as hard as you fucking can and see if you can “land” them.

In concordance with good sporting etiquette, if they are under 5 feet tall throw them back.
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 13:17, More)