b3ta.com user certosa
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for certosa:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Desperate Times

Robin the Hood
In days of olde i used to be a waiter in a posh resturant in the north. The manager was a drunk...in fact everyone was either a drunk or a nob.
Shortly before christmas a football team came in for a birthday party, Blackburn Rovers I think...anyway they had a sort of prize giving thing but left all the gifts, books, dvd's and cd's etc behind the counter and never came to pick them up.
You must understand I was very poor at this time and had recently started courting, i was under great pressure to impress.
Needless to say everyone got good presents that christmas.
Like Loxley but with an apron and a corkscrew!
Length...round the back, cross over, back round the front and tie off with a bow.
(Thu 15th Nov 2007, 10:47, More)

» Abusing freebies

My bro used to be the chef in the cafe/bar at a gym which belonged to a chain of gyms owned by a beardy bloke with lots of money.

Anyway, top and bottom of it is I got to use the facilities as a guest (with all the other diesel sportwear clad 'ooh, look at my exspensive unsuitable fashion sportwear, fake tan and white teeth hollyoakes wanna-bees), one particular time I was releaxing in the sauna and my bro joined me after his shift informing me that he had rustled up two pizzas and they were sat in the kitchen cooling. We exit the sauna, stick the fodder in tin foil along with some bottles of Peroni and head off to the cinema next door where we have a deal going with their staff, they get free gym, we get free film.

Empty cinema (apart from me and the bro), delicious pizza, cold beer and Equilibrium on the big screen.

Not a penny spent!

first post, apologies for blandness but it's all true ;)

Length - 107 min
(Wed 14th Nov 2007, 15:56, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

A couple of chaps who live together on the next corner from my mum and Dad are family friends and we have known them for years.

Anyways my brother answers the door to one of the chaps and they begin to have a discussion about beards as they were both sporting said facial furniture.

I stride up to the front door to pick up my keys bellowing; 'Aye, shavings fer gays'...

Pick up my keys, turn and stride off leaving my brother to deal with the tidal wave of my stupidity.
(Mon 26th Nov 2007, 8:46, More)