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» Advice from Old People

One piece of advice to take with you.
Good friends of ours had a BBQ to say goodbye to a couple of students that had been here in Lanzarote for work experience. Our friend (we shall call him "Weasel") owns a pool company, and said that he had one piece of advice that the young lady should always carry with her. Now "Weasel" is an intelligent chappie... and rarely says anything if it's not worth saying.

So we all sat forward waiting for this gem of wisdom...

It all went quiet...

Weasel said "Never let them cum in your eye!"

You can imagine the response.

Elle xx

Edited: Ok, so "Weasel" isn't old... but it cracked us all up!
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 18:47, More)

» Random Acts of Kindness

I got stalked by "Three NIpples"
Back before the days of dinosaurs... when I was at school... there was a girl who had 3 nipples. I don't know why or how I knew this - maybe it was just a made up rumour... but anyway, she was known for it. She had no friends to speak of really. I used to say a very fast hello if I saw her out and about but that was it - I was a shy girl myself back in the day.
Anyway - my Mum decided to give a load of my old clothes to this girl as she knew her mother.
This girl then followd me round school wearing my clothes and declaring to everyone that would listen that I was her best friend. I was distraught!
With hindsight it wqas my Mum being kind, and I was being a freaked out bitch - but I was really scared!
Thanks Mum - for nowt!
(Wed 15th Feb 2012, 10:46, More)

» Bad Dates

I started reading a book
Nice sweet lad asked me out on a date. I wasn't really keen... but thought I'd give it a go.
Sadly he was so bloody boring I ended up pulling a book out of my bag and just sat there reading. A few minutes later his brother and a load of his mates came in. The poor lad is still living it down to this day.
Mind you - I ended up going out with his sexier older brother for a year or so... so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
(Fri 18th Oct 2013, 16:58, More)

» Dumb things you've done

Burnt palm
When I was about 6 years old, my Mum and I were living at my grandparents house for a while. Anyhoo... Mum was out somwehere... and my nan had just given me a big juicy ice pop. But the ice hurt my sensitive teeth... so I went and put the electric hob on - thinking maybe I could melt the ice pop a little bit. But how would I know it was warm enough to do it? Oh by putting my palm flat down onto the electric ring. Twat! Yes it hurt, yes I cried, yes I had blisters.
Stupid thing was... I couldn't own up to what I'd done... so I went out into the garden... and blew on my sore hand lots hoping it would miraculously heal. Eventually the pain was too much... so I went and held out my hand to my Nan - who incorrectly assumed I'd been messing around with her deck-chair and sustained an injury that way. Erm...
(Thu 3rd Jan 2008, 22:11, More)