b3ta.com user Fuckpig
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I'm basically too cool for this.

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» Stuff I've found

you've all been talking about brilliant finds
you may like to know that i'm the one responsible for the most recent ones.
I should have mentioned myself in the QOTW about eccentrics.but I got publicity-shy.

In the last two years i've been going around on public transport (planes,trains and automobiles),mainly because i like public transport,and also to fulfill my joyous mission around the world.

I buy cubic zirconia and fool's gold on ebay and then scatter them to the winds in the hope that they will briefly illuminate people's minds.

I have a large collection of rare and unusual coins,which i leave on train seats,on public paths and between the pages of newspapers on buses.

i leave antiques and oddities in boxes by the side of the road,in forests and in alleys.

i buy comic books and leave it in trees,on the ground or behind park benches...

i leave watches and single cars from my matchbox collection on beaches,and i take ammonite fossils i find locally and stash them away in odd places only a child or teen would look

you see,when i was young and bright,i was disappointed by the lack of treasure in the world,and i resolved to do something about it.
My habit might be vaguely expensive,but it gives me a warm,fuzzy feeling.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 22:57, More)

» Bullies

i once knew a kid
who was regarded by the whole school as slow.Time and again he'd be surrounded by a group of jeering morons who'd upbraid him in harsh terms for being a 'retard' or somesuch.
Their favourite game was to offer him a fifty-pence piece and a pound coin.They knew he'd always take the fifty pence because it was bigger.It was their favourite trick and they'd do it time and again to jeering laughter.
Once after many months of this I stopped him.
'Don't you realise that they're making fun of you with the whole fifty pence/pound thing,mate?They're doing it for kicks and laughing at you!I'm sure you know that a pound is worth more!'
'Yes,' he said,looking up at me shyly.'But if I took the pound they'd stop doing it.' and walked off shaking his head like I was an idiot which,in all fairness,I guess I was.
(Fri 15th May 2009, 13:51, More)

» Nativity Plays

Weird ideas
'While I was on the bog the other day,' writes 'mudskipper', 'it occured to me that when you take the word ‘weapons’, and spell it phonetically, ‘weppins’, it looks like a name you’d give to a pet rabbit.

What really, really, REALLY weird thoughts have you had?'

Comment space reserved for an alternative QOTW should you want it.
(Sat 28th Mar 2009, 2:06, More)

» Impulse buys

oh balls
i bought a thousand pounds worth of laptop that is now used exclusively for reading the B3ta QOTW and looking at porn.
(Thu 21st May 2009, 12:36, More)

» Dad stories

My father.
here do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. He would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.
Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy...the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
(Mon 29th Nov 2010, 9:17, More)
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