» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

I was in a public toilet
I went into the end cubicle and sat down to do my business when from the adjacent cubicle came "Hello mate".

Not one to be ignorant I replied, "erm.. Hi"

"What are you doing?" Came the voice.

"Just Taking a crap, you?" I replied.

Then I heard:
"Yeah sorry mate Ill call you back, the idiot next to me keeps replying"
(Wed 2nd Apr 2008, 16:52, More)

» Pathological Liars

Sleep
In year 7, I told my friend George that when you go to bed, all the energy you didn't use in the day, is pushed out of your eyes in the form of sleep.

So if you eat your sleep, they are effectively little energy pills.

Well, he believed me, and ate his sleep every morning. But because I didn't see him wake up every day, I soon forgot.

Fast forward 4 years later, we are now in year 11, and I went camping with him. Well one morning we woke up and I saw him pick his eyes and eat the sleep.

Because I forgot, I asked him what the hell he was doing.

"Oh, energy is released through your eyes as sleep. Eat it and its like energy pills"

He responded with the exact same rubbish I told him 4 years earlier, and then it clicked.
(Sat 1st Dec 2007, 15:13, More)

» Evil Pranks

Well
Me and my friend discovered if you sent complaint letters to companies they are 90% likely to send you some vouchers.

Well one day at school we started typing up loads of emails to send to various companies and get free vouchers.

My friend chose brands all under the same company "Masterfoods" and I said, well they will be suspicious getting emails from the same person. And he got a bit anxious.

Later on, when i got home, I found an anonymous email program, and sent my friend a very formal and important sounding letter stating that he will be prosecuted under the "fraudulent claims act 1992" and will be in contact to arrange court dates.

Anyway he said he was close to tears and really scared about going to court and this is the most scared hes ever been.

The look on his face when I told him I did it.
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 21:02, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Ninjas
I was at school and about year 10.

I put a scarf around my head except my eyes pretending to be a ninja, making the hiiiii-yar! sound effects too.
Anyway our teacher didnt fully grasp the concept of racism and said: "how dare you, someone might find that offensive, go to the heads office" and looked at the muslim girl in our class with her headscarf on.

I found this more offensive to her than what I done, so I asked the girl "are you a ninja?" and the girl starting laughing to show she didn't mind, and my teacher just shut up.

*Edit: finally lost my virginity!
(Tue 27th Nov 2007, 16:25, More)

» Your first cigarette

I was on a nice message board
had been there for a while. Started to fit in, and then i made myself a little picture to go after my messages on the forum.

That was my first cig.
(Thu 27th Mar 2008, 4:13, More)