» Accidental innuendo

More hilarious grandmothers
Many years ago my grandmother told us about an amazing new product she had found at the shops and how we should all go and try .... fellatio bread.
We just managed not to lose it in front of her, but we didn't have the heart to tell her it's called *foccacia* bread. I do hope she hasn't asked anyone at the shop for it!
How do you explain the difference without introducing a topic you really don't want to discuss with your gran?
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 4:37, More)

» Phobias

Weevils and staring cockroaches
1. Weevils. Yes, the little crawly moth larvae. I went into the kitchen one morning to find a whole bunch had hatched overnight and were now crawling over every centimeter of the ceiling and walls. Lets just say it was a little too much to handle first thing in the morning, and I was overcome by disgust. From that point on the sight or even the thought of them made me feel sick and my skin crawl. I have had to work really hard to desensitise myself to them, because I was getting so grossed out it was getting ridiculous.
2. Cockroaches. I am not afraid of the ones that you spot crawling up the wall, I will grab a shoe and whack them without hesitation. However, there is one incident that freaked me out and left me with an uneasy feeling about the buggers. I was asleep in the middle of the night when I woke up with a jolt, absolutely sure that someone was staring at me. Now I am a very good sleeper, and I haven't had this feeling before or since. I turned on my bedside light only to find a cockroach standing at eye level on the table next to me. Instead of running away when I turned on the light it just stood there staring at me and it totally freaked me out! When I finally woke up enough to try and kill it, it scurried into my chest of drawers full of my clothes! It took about an hour and a can of bug spray before I was sure it was dead. The feeling when I woke up hasn't left me to this day!
(Sun 13th Apr 2008, 15:23, More)