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» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

green parcel of wonder
You can probably see where this is going.

A friend of mine enjoys making 'cocktails' while under the influence of an assortment of drugs. One stupid night i agreed to try a selection of his 'masterpieces'. Surprisingly enough, they did not taste too bad. "I'll have a few more", I thought to myself. So, the night finally came to an end, along with the 5 spirit bottles which now lay flat on the side.

The night was ok but nothing compared to what currently awaited me in my small intestine. As I awoke with a vicious arse cramp, I felt my stomach and sauntered to the shitter for my morning drop off. "Im actually ok" I thought. And I was, I really really was. I squatted down on the throne and quick as anything, set down anchor. As I turned to review my effort, its strange colour caught my eye. It was green, not just green, bright green. As i stared in amazement and took stock of what i had produced, I was overcome with a sense of satisfaction the size of the dump which resided in the grimey bog. Then, as quickly as it had been created, it was gone. Flushed by a strange looking girl who had unwisely decided to sleep in the bath...next to the toilet.

"You're disgusting you"

bitch

The weird thing was, the cocktails drank were blue.

Appologies for length but not for width, the green goblin was fucking wedged in the bowl.
(Fri 28th Mar 2008, 1:50, More)

» Addicted

Arrested Development
Seen every episode at least 7 times. I blame the creators for making it far too re-watchable.
(Thu 18th Dec 2008, 18:13, More)