» Phobias

can't be rid of it!
Mine's not terrible unreasonable, but the level to which I am phobic is. I'm deathly afraid of the herpes simplex virus. I know it's extremely common and that most people have one form or the other, yet the very thought of even having a cold sore just freezes me. I carry Abreva with me everywhere I go and apply it to every spot or tingle anywhere remotely near my mouth.

I think it stems from an episode last year where, after a short burst of promiscuity (I used protection!), I discovered a bump on my nethers that was rather sore to the touch and I was feeling generally ill at the time. I did the wrong thing and googled STDs and convinced myself that I had genital HSV. I called up a friend who had it herself from her husband going down on her with a cold sore (that wasn't visible until days after) and she said my symptoms were pretty consistant. I went to the hospital, waited 4 hours to be seen, panicking all the while. Turned out to just be a bloody ingrown hair. Still, after that, I'm absolutely petrified of getting herpes. I probably have the kind that give you cold sores, as my mom does and I never shyed away from her as a child, even when she had a lip full o' blister. I don't really get cold sores though and if I did, I'd probably have a breakdown. I went through a period of about 4 or 5 months where I had to be medicated for the panic attacks I was having. I lost 25lbs because I couldn't eat!

I'm better now, especially because I realize that a large part of the population of the western world (20% have genital herpes, 80% have some kind of genital HPV) are affected, and clearly not all of them are sans partner. It's not a big deal, but still-I am the most dilligent safer-sex practitioner I know out of sheer fear I'll get one of the minor viral STIs out there.
(Tue 15th Apr 2008, 2:32, More)