» Eccentrics

My uncle
believes that he came up with the idea for Windows. That while he was working in Currys in Bournmouth many years ago he came up with this concept and somehow this idea was stolen by those Microsoft scoundrels.

He consequently believes they are now on a mission to shut him up and cheat him out of claiming the billions he feels he is owed, and now carries around a backpack of papers with him constantly, and even when in his or any other family members home, he has to be able to see this at all times. No one can touch it and none of us have ever seen what is in it.
(Thu 30th Oct 2008, 22:46, More)

» Cringe!

I get the bus to work every day...
...and on my way home two of my work friends also get the same bus. One evening I was freezing cold waiting with them, and a very big crowd including a few other collegues, for the bus home which was now late.

It appeared around the corner and everyone moved to one end of the stop to queue up. It went past a few feet to the other end of the stop, putting me now at the front of the queue.

In a rather loud voice I shout in a childish manner "me first, me first!" and leap on.

I remained airborn for rather longer than I would have expected, and it wasnt until I felt the thud across my chest I realised I had missed the step up to the bus and gone head first across the floor.

I looked up to see the driver staring down at me with an irritated expression, the contents of my handbag scattered all down the isle.

The rest of the crowd had to wait while I peeled myself up, my friend retrieved my shoe which had flown about 10feet down the pavement and I gathered my posesssions and what little dignity I could.

I still get laughed at today over this and it took about 2 months for the hole in my shin to heal.
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 12:54, More)

» Family codes and rituals

When I was growing up
my family were struggling, financially. But one of my happiest memories (there arent many!) was the ritual for every Sunday.

We would have a roast for lunch while watching Lost In Space on our very small black and white television (and no Im not talking about the 50's! This is late 80's).

Then my dad would take me and my little brother to the swimming pool while my mum did housework or whatever mums liked to do with two hours to themselves. We would stop at the park on the way home too - just to make sure we were properly tiered out.

By the time we were home we would get sardines on toast (can't stand them now!) and hot chocolate for tea.

And then we would get treated to icecream (we didnt get sweets the rest of the week), but my parents couldnt afford a freezer. So when we had finished our toast my mum would run down to the corner shop and buy a tub. And us kids along with my father had to eat it all in one sitting as it couldnt be stored.

Oh and my other favorite day of the week when living in that pokey little flat was Thursdays because it was Blue Peter on tv before going to Brownies.

Shame it all fell apart not long afterwards...
(Fri 21st Nov 2008, 12:43, More)

» Pointless Experiments

My school had a lunchtime science club
I was one of the nerdy kids who used to go - we actually had a great laugh. Many experiments dreamed up by teenage brains were conducted, including;

How many batterys can you connect to one lightbulb on a circuit board before it explodes. We got through a whole box of bulbs.

Telling an unsuspecting young man to sniff a giant flask of ammonia - "take a really really deep breath, it smells lovely". I think he may have passed out.

Mixing hydrochloric acid with magnesium ribbon. A lot of magnesium ribbon. It burned through the bottom of the test tube and into the bench below.

Lighting somethign explosive under a tin can so it went through the ceiling and into the classroom above (the teacher and her class above were very impressed).

One guy seeing how many girls he could freak out by putting disected eyeballs on the end of each finger.

Many other experiments took place within my class, like what happens if you leave fish behind a radiator for the summer holidays, or how will the drunk class bully look with his eyebrows shaved off... good times!
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 13:14, More)

» Stuff I've found

I found the love of my life.
Can I be sick at my own cheesiness now?

Leaves. The door hit me on the way out.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 12:58, More)