b3ta.com user Reservoir Ducks
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» My most gullible moment

At the age of around 5 or 6 i had asked my Grandad the same question thousands of grandchildren ask. "Grandad, what did you do during the war?". Grandad sat me down and began to tell me how he was a machine gunner in the glass bubble underneath a Lancaster bomber. This is how he told the story..."We had just got back to England after a sortie over Germany but we had taken so much flak that the undercarriage would not work and I could not open my hatch to get out of the bubble. We all knew that we had little fuel so a crash landing was required. We went lower and lower until finally we were only four feet from the ground" At this point my Grandad stopped talking and carried on watching an old war film on TV (for the first time he usually told us) while I just sat there. Only a minute later I turned back to Grandad and asked "what happened then, Grandad" to which my Grandad replied "we were all killed".
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 10:21, More)

» Common

It doesn't matter how you were brought up or how well to do that you think you are, if you spit in public then you're scum in my eyes. I would watch all the Portugese workers in the mornings waiting to get on their van to work.
You had to be careful as you walked past them, it was like an ice rink. Since then I have been secretly flobbing into an oil drum which I am going to take with me to Portugal one day and pour it out along a main road.
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 13:18, More)

» Food sabotage

Kind of in keeping...
... but not.

When i was around 15-16yrs old i had a friend named fats and he would eat a packet of fruit pastilles without chewing (it can be done) and then a group of us would take a bet at which colour would come up first after he put his fingers down the back of his throat.

We no longer call him 'fats'
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 17:13, More)

» My sex misconceptions

I thought...
...Tie Rack was a middle eastern country.
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 23:42, More)

» Sexism

Jumping the shark
Time to say goodnight B3ta
(Tue 29th Dec 2009, 7:54, More)
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