» Grandparents

Granddad was half-albino
in that his hair was completely white from cradle to grave but he didn't have pink eyes or anything like that.

Anyway the story goes that when he was 8 someone asked him why his hair was white and he replied, quick as a flash, "everyone's hair is this colour but only I wash it properly!"
(Sun 5th Jun 2011, 23:09, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Madchester
A long long time ago in a city far far away (manchester) I was visiting my sister who was at uni there. Me and my mum are staying in this B&B .

Shoddy little place, your typical crappy floral wall paper, flaking gold paint, badly fitted radiators for the obligatory extension to cram the most possible rooms into the space between the fork in the road etc. But then it's a B&B in Manchester, what do you expect?

What really took the biscuit was at breakfast. We get there and are asked what we want, eggs, bacon, sausage etc. My mum asks for a poached egg. The landlords face goes completly blank. Err alright then, scrambled egg. Blank. Apparently he'd never heard of the words 'scrambled' and 'egg' together in the same sentance.

At this point my mum, bless her cotton socks, proceeds to explain to him how to make scrambled egg, and to his credit he listens and takes notes.

So now some other customers walk in so he goes over and asks for their orders.

"Would you like some eggs? We can do fried or scrambled..."
(Tue 22nd Jan 2008, 13:18, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

On the subject of Americans
Waiting for a train in Newcastle heard one American tourist say to another "it's so useful that they built the castle right next to the train station"
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 16:14, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Working as a waiter
one woman asked for diet water.

Yes, she was American
(Sat 20th Mar 2010, 16:07, More)

» Impulse buys

Computer Stuff
This story isn't about me, but a friend.

I have a friend who isn't exactly stupid, but does lack a common sense gland, or whatever it is that stops people from doing really mind-numbingly retarded things when they're actually quite smart people.

He is obsessed with electronics, especially computers and music equipment, to the point where he can't afford food but will still shell out £500 on speakers that are far too big for his small student room, and then wonder why everyone else seems to have more money than him.

This particular story, however, comes from when he was building himself a computer, a task that never seems to end due to his inabillity to stop the thing crashing on him. So anyway, he was looking for a particular processor (don't ask me which, I have very limited knowledge on computer hardware) and found it being sold for a reasonible price on ebay. He payed his money and the damn thing never arrived!

The story doesn't end there though, he then proceeded to try and buy it again. Unfortunately for him he bought it from THE SAME PERSON. Needless to say the next one didn't turn up either.

Not quite an impulse buy, but certainly a shopping calamity.
(Wed 27th May 2009, 23:31, More)