» Karma

Mr BMW gets stricken down
So in my lovely town, there's a lot of roadworks going, underpasses and whatnot being built. Anyway, this means that rush hour traffic is now even worse than it was before and the rules of the road have seemingly gone out the window.

Heading to work with my friend at the wheel a few weeks ago, towards the start of rush hour, we notice some prick in a BMW behind us, who was so close to our bumper you could smell the Turtlewax. Anyway, the guy proceeds to cut up a bunch of people and then do an undertake and gets ahead of the pack. A few minutes later, we roll onto the busiest part of the motorway, and up ahead there's a cloud of smoke coming from the middle lane.

Yes, Mr BMW's beloved car had packed in, smoke piling out of the radiator and all. Fucking priceless - we gave him the one fingered salute as we drove by, laughing at his misery. Wanker.
(Fri 22nd Feb 2008, 20:52, More)

» Tramps

Homeless, knife-wielding Glaswegian tramp in Amsterdam...
I was in Amsterdam a few months back with a big group of mates, over for the usual - a few days of drunken and/or stoned debauchery in one of the greatest party towns on the planet. Now I'd been there before so I knew what to expect, but I wasn't expecting what's in the title of this post;

Myself and a few others from our group were waiting outside a bar near our hostel just outside the Red Light, standing in a circle chatting. Suddenly this guy comes and stands right behind my mate, who reacts as you'd expect - taking a step forward, turning around to see who's there. Who was there but a filthy, piss-stinking, swivel-eyed, bearded tramp (with one arm in a sling). Who turned out to be a Glaswegian. As if a regular angry crazy tramp wasn't bad enough, he had to be Glaswegian...

He took offense at my mate's actions and shouted, "Don't you do that! - you don't want to make a Scotsman angry, boy!". At which point he proceeded to pull a blade from his sleeve and take a slash at my mate, who manages to dodge out of the way. Needless to say, we legged it back down the road to the safety of our hostel, as we hear the tramp starting an argument with some unfortunate random bastard behind us.

Amsterdam. The craziest fucking town on Earth.
(Mon 6th Jul 2009, 0:59, More)