» Hotel Splendido

A double birthday trip to blackpool I won't soon forget.
Ah, Cesspool, a horrible place to visit but we thought hey, its 2 mate's birthdays this weekend so lets go and get some strippers and whatever else comes our way in the women department. To facilitate our stay we opted for The Priory, it sounded nice on the website but what we got was the biggest pile of crap i had ever seen:

Arrival: Checked in, Landlady looked like a complete dog's dinner. Her kids were both lying around in their underwear and her "friend" (male) was also there, no sight of the husband. Parking was £11 a DAY!!!!! The room was tiny, a single and a bunk for me and the birthday boys. I picked up the mirror on the sink, which fell apart in my hands. I tried the sink and it came off the wall. Great start.

First night: Strip club and excessive alcohol. Got back to the hotel and found a bachelor party was also staying there. Went up to bed and found out that the door had no locks, one guy came into our room and asked us for some crack, to which we politely said No to. After 4 hours of them breaking down doors and smashing lamps they all finally passed out and we got some sleep but not before the window collapsed into the room, just as my mate put his head out of the gaping hole in our wall, a guy upstairs was sick, almost all over said mate's head.

Second day: Dropped another 11 notes into the parking meter (ouch) had breakfast while the landlady and her "friend" gave the lads from the bachelor group a good thrashing, they still got a fry up though, lucky sods. Tried to have a shower only to be confronted by a large group of naked lads conversing outside our door. Finally got into the shower only for the thing to collapse and fall off the wall. The naked bachelors also left the other shower running which leaked all over downstairs.

Second night: Pretty much the same as the first except no bachelors and a good night's sleep.

Third day: Yet more breakages and random stuff falling off walls, by the end of it we must have amassed over a hundred quids worth of damage just from touching stuff, who knows what would of happened if we had been trying to break things.

We checked out in a hurry before the parking ran out and went to the beach followed by Blackpool pleasure beach.

HINT: Don't EVER go the The Priory, its on Yorkshire Street. Its a dump, it smells and stuff breaks.

Finally, this is my first post so please be nice. I can't think of a decent length gag so i will just end on a side note: my cock is massive!!!!!!!!
(Tue 22nd Jan 2008, 23:12, More)