b3ta.com user godisdove
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» Stalked

Motorway madness
First post and it's only little,
Driving down any motorway and getting stuck in any large jam involves boredom, lots of BoreDOM. So take out your trusty mobile telphonic and call / text any number written on the side of any van in site ..."I'm watching you, I know where you are". If you can see the driver as he/she checks mobile 'tis most amusing.
(Wed 6th Feb 2008, 0:07, More)

» I witnessed a crime

London Underground numpties
I commited a crime...
A long long time ago in a city many (thankful) miles away from my present location I was at the bottom of the M1 and wanted to be in Shepherds Bush. And I had 50p. Being ticketless on the tube was unpleasant in those days due to numpty uniformed numpties in all stations. So I bought a child fare from the ticket machine to the next station, travelled to Oxford Circus and changed to the Central Line without going through a ticket gate. I don't know why it is possible to do this at Oxford Circus but if you wander around long enough it just seems to happen. Got to Shepherds Bush and walked up to gate. Whereupon following conversation ensued.
Me "hello, I dropped my ticket in a gap in the floor by mistake so I can't show it too you."
Numpty "Lying hippy student scum, No you didn't. You're trying to cheat London Underground of a trivial amount of money. You evil bastard. I will prosecute you for millions. What station did you get on at?"
Me "(gives name of station at bottom of M1) Honest, I bought a ticket there."
Numpty "All our stations have cctv. I will check and then prosecute you you thieving hippy scumbag."
Me "Crack on..."
5 mins of thumb twiddling....
Numpty "You are on cctv at (station at bottom of the M1) buying a ticket from the ticket machine"
Me "Damm right I am tube numpty"
Numpty "Go home while I curse the evils of cctv"
(Fri 15th Feb 2008, 2:43, More)

» Banks

remember it only takes 6 years..
Are you sitting comfortably....then we'll begin....

There is a six year limit on taking civil action in the UK. So what? I hear you little chipmunks say...

Action to reclaim a debt is a civil action. ie a ccj is only possible if the creditor takes you to court within six years of making contact with you over any debt you might have with them.

With me so far? Good, keep listening.

Get a credit card as soon as you are old enough. Don't use it too often and when you do repay that month. After maybe a year only pay half one month. You will be offered a higher credit limit very quickly. Follow this course of action for a couple of years. Then apply for another credit card from another company, do the same. Keep it up and in 10-15 years you will have 20+ credit cards with credit limits in the thousands. And a very good credit rating.

Pick your destination country.

Spunk the cards oh so madly and oh so badly. Buy diamonds, foreign currency, hit the cash points etc. Spunk them baby, spunk them. Plan to max them out inside two to three weeks.

Take out bank loans for as much as you can. BIG loans.

Leave enough money in your bank account to cover one month of repayments on all cards and loans. (Thus establishing an intent to repay and protecting yourself from charges of theft)

Move to your destination country leaving your new address with a few choice friends and relatives.

The credit card companies can't make contact with you. They don't know where you are. They know where you are not because all mail and phone calls to your old address are returned or unanswered.

Six years of no contact and the statute of limitations on civil actions kicks in. No way of taking you to court = no way of forcing you to repay the debt.

£80,000. No comeback.

Kiss my shitty ring HSBC Abbey National Lloyds Sainsburys Goldfish Barclaycard Mastercard etc etc etc.


How d'ya like them apples!

Serves you right for all those mortgage foreclosures.

(Fri 17th Jul 2009, 19:54, More)

» Festivals

I have a stereo, I have a kitchen, I have a bathroom, I have a comfy bed. It has a nubile blond thing in it.
Why would I want to spend ANY time in a muddy field, listening to overcranked speakers surrounded by overcranked fuckwits, using plastic boxs full of shit and piss and vomit to take a crap in, eating fucked up shit and having to sleep in a fucking TENT? Why? Well? Why?
Festivals. Don't get it. Sorry.
You're all fucked up. Take more drugs and stop it. Just STOP!
It's like going to a football match. Why? When you could watch it on telly without the pissed cunt screaming racist abuse over your shoulder. And the shit food. etc.
(Mon 8th Jun 2009, 22:18, More)

» Karma

As a student I was dreadlocked, smelly and dressed in holes with cloth round them. If I had a time machine I would go back and shoot myself, honest I would!
Anyway I am on the tube (Central line) one morning and an old couple get on, sit opposite me and pass remarks about my appearance. When they leave several stops later they forget to take their camera..which they had conveniently just put a new roll of film in. Thanks for that rude old couple. And that will teach you to pass remarks about scruffy students.
(Fri 22nd Feb 2008, 23:21, More)
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