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- a member for 16 years, 2 months and 22 days
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» Accidental innuendo
God is a perv...
I was bored today, so I looked through my parent's library. In a section of -religious- books, I stumbled upon a particularly intriguing one. While I'm not religious or anything of the sort, my parents are, so I'm not surprised they didn't see the sexual innuendo when they bought this book. Well, unless it was my mom, in which case, she was probably disappointed when she read it.
Whilst browsing through the book I noticed this, and giggled to myself.
And because it's b3ta =)
Ahem. Excuse my lack of goatse-making abilities.
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 18:38, More)
God is a perv...
I was bored today, so I looked through my parent's library. In a section of -religious- books, I stumbled upon a particularly intriguing one. While I'm not religious or anything of the sort, my parents are, so I'm not surprised they didn't see the sexual innuendo when they bought this book. Well, unless it was my mom, in which case, she was probably disappointed when she read it.
Whilst browsing through the book I noticed this, and giggled to myself.
And because it's b3ta =)
Ahem. Excuse my lack of goatse-making abilities.
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 18:38, More)
» Flirting
It's always a plus being a woman.
At various bars and clubs, I'll often get older foreign men coming up to me trying to dance. I generally decline, because I can't understand a fecking word they say. Once in awhile, when I'm running short on money or can't be bothered to bring any with me, I'll accept a dance from one of these said foreigners, but only if they buy me a drink. After the drink is purchased, we head back to the dance floor.
Now, these foreign men tend to throw down their "best" dance moves and they ALWAYS do a Michael Jackson-esque spin. In the middle of their incredibly unoriginal spin, I turn around and walk into the forest of people dancing, leaving the men dazed and confused and short 5 quid.
Give it a go ladies. It works every time. ;)
(Wed 24th Feb 2010, 7:05, More)
It's always a plus being a woman.
At various bars and clubs, I'll often get older foreign men coming up to me trying to dance. I generally decline, because I can't understand a fecking word they say. Once in awhile, when I'm running short on money or can't be bothered to bring any with me, I'll accept a dance from one of these said foreigners, but only if they buy me a drink. After the drink is purchased, we head back to the dance floor.
Now, these foreign men tend to throw down their "best" dance moves and they ALWAYS do a Michael Jackson-esque spin. In the middle of their incredibly unoriginal spin, I turn around and walk into the forest of people dancing, leaving the men dazed and confused and short 5 quid.
Give it a go ladies. It works every time. ;)
(Wed 24th Feb 2010, 7:05, More)
» Sexual fetishes
Oh the shame.
My best friend told me she was at her fiancé's house, when to her horror, he walked into the bathroom without closing the door and took a leak in front of her.
I, however, do not get disgusted seeing my fiancé's urine. He frequently enjoys pissing on me in the shower.
=3
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 16:18, More)
Oh the shame.
My best friend told me she was at her fiancé's house, when to her horror, he walked into the bathroom without closing the door and took a leak in front of her.
I, however, do not get disgusted seeing my fiancé's urine. He frequently enjoys pissing on me in the shower.
=3
(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 16:18, More)
» Guilty Pleasures, part 2
-sizzle-
I like to set things aflame and put them out with water just to hear them sizzle, mainly with important letters or bills to my parents o_O
I also say/do the weirdest things in public, just for random people's reactions.
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 22:45, More)
-sizzle-
I like to set things aflame and put them out with water just to hear them sizzle, mainly with important letters or bills to my parents o_O
I also say/do the weirdest things in public, just for random people's reactions.
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 22:45, More)
» I witnessed a crime
Moo-m?
This is about my Mom and her (I almost spelled "his"...eh she kinda looks like a dude) doings. There are a quite a few.
My mom has been known to grow, sell, buy, and smoke weed. She smokes with minors and buys from them too. Oh how cool she looks.
She also likes to drink and drive, sometimes when I'm in the passenger seat, taking a swig when I'm looking the other way.
Another thing she likes to do is get drunk, get in the car (again with me in the passenger seat) speed to about 80mph on a 50 limit zone, then swerve about crazily in hopes to get into an accident and kill me.
(Mon 18th Feb 2008, 1:19, More)
Moo-m?
This is about my Mom and her (I almost spelled "his"...eh she kinda looks like a dude) doings. There are a quite a few.
My mom has been known to grow, sell, buy, and smoke weed. She smokes with minors and buys from them too. Oh how cool she looks.
She also likes to drink and drive, sometimes when I'm in the passenger seat, taking a swig when I'm looking the other way.
Another thing she likes to do is get drunk, get in the car (again with me in the passenger seat) speed to about 80mph on a 50 limit zone, then swerve about crazily in hopes to get into an accident and kill me.
(Mon 18th Feb 2008, 1:19, More)