» I witnessed a crime

Sunny Sunday Afternoon
I was sitting In my living room and saw two tramps outside sharing a bottle of cider (Y'all know the ones, 3 litres of alcholic piss basically). Anyway, "I could have a laugh with this" methinks. Quick call to the local cop shop to report them. Cops arrive to move them on and I watched and waved whilst smoking my joint.

Not a crime as such but worth a chuckle!!!
(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 12:20, More)

» Common

Queen Convention 2007
The band, not some cross-dressing meet btw!

Anyway, this paticular one took place at Brean Sands in Somerset, at of all places, Pontins. Halfway thru the night I decide its time for another smoke and cart my drunken self outside.

There I walk into the middle of a conversation that I will take to my grave. I hear a woman in her 40s say the immortal line " I give t'best gob job around i do" following up with " I love things in't ma p*ssy!" (Is that a decent typed version of a yorkshire accent?)

Dear god that was common.
(Wed 22nd Oct 2008, 13:01, More)

» Mix Tapes

Mix Tapes
I gave my first girlfriend a mix tape which included "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison (Cos she had brown eyes) and "Let me put my love into you" by AC/DC (cos I wanted too!). We lasted a while after that and when we broke up I sent her another one with "Ain't my bitch" by Metallica and "Why does it hurt when I pee?" by Frank Zappa (didn't have anything wrong with me, just wanted to give her a scare!)

First post y'all!
(Tue 12th Feb 2008, 12:05, More)

» Stuff I've found

Prosthetic Arm
Found one in a shopping trolley once. Not just a fake rubber arm but a lifelike medical replacement. Seriously, how the fuck do you lose you own fake arm?
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 12:49, More)

» My most treasured possession

A book from childhood
Called "Who wants a cheap rhinocerous?"

Great book with many different ways of enjoying the company of a rhino!
(Thu 8th May 2008, 12:47, More)