» Customers from Hell

Cuntstemers
i work in a shoe shop part time and i must say that i think i have had every strange person going come into bluewater, one customer wanted size 8 in a trainer but we had none left his reply " this is fuckin ridiculus! you are misleading me by having all the other size 8s out in other styles" no sir you see we do have other styles but no 8s in your shoe .... "well you should take all the shoes off the shelf if you havnt got them in an 8" mmmmm of course that makes complete sense you stupid tit.

another customer wanted to test for leather on the most expensive shoe going and proceded to take out his lighter and burn the fuck out of the shoe on the shop floor while commenting to his son that real leather doesnt burn , well turns out that shoe isnt real leather now you have well and truly scorched it.


oh and also two people have actually shat on the floor next to the prada shoes.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 16:26, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

I always hold doors open for people
but there comes a point sometimes when there is a bit of distance between the person walking to the door. so i think do i keep holiding the door for another 5 seconds and risk making me look a tit or do i quickly slam it shut.
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 16:54, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Not Exactly thrown away but.
I had a workmans box rather large full of warhammer models i think it was an undead army actually but they were all introcatly painted, many hours spent on each model all packed away nice and neatly. some how i had managed to piss my mum off to which she picked up my box of precious models and hurled them down the stairs!! absolutly destroying everything in the box only a lone spacemarine survived and i didnt even collect them ,

bitch
(Thu 14th Aug 2008, 18:04, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

shit shoes
i work at a very well known luxary shoe company selling all the usual lovely expensive shoes and stuff, there i stand one busy saturday after noon when i get this distinct smell of shit not a fart but real shit smelling smell so i look round to see there just under the prada table lay a massive fat turd right in the middle of a busy shop floor,

i didnt see anyone do this turd of immense proportion so i had to stand next to it while people walk past and i would go " scuse me luv ..dont walk there sumones just shit there ..pointing to the excrement as if had actually done it i, i phoned up the cleaners and said " yeah theres sum shit down here u mind picking it up .. the look on her face when she realised i actually meant real human poo.
(Thu 27th Mar 2008, 22:16, More)

» Stuff I've found

The best thing i ever found
when i was walking home from school a few years ago laying right next to a drain was one of the biggest keys i have ever seen in my life it was about a foot long , so i decided to take it home thinking this would look good glued to the wall. My dad found this mammoth key instead and took it to the police station and it turned out to be a bank key to one of the high security safes in my local area. wish i still kept it

and also once after a unsuccesful conker gathering mission finding almost nothing me and my freind came across a massive black bag of conkers completly stuffed laying in the road needless to say we crammed our pockets and pants and any other orrofice with the brown gold and took them home where they eventually went mouldy and then got thrown away.
(Mon 10th Nov 2008, 0:32, More)