b3ta.com user idle insomniac
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I'm a musician and a film student, and I don't have any real friends. On the plus side, I can insult you in Welsh. :)

When I'm working on a project, it's very exciting (and stressful), so I don't get much sleep - hence the name. I also tend to neglect to eat and drink. Hmm.

I've been lurking for a good while - I've been a member since early 2008, but have only posted once or twice. I'm fairly crap at Photoshop, so I guess I'll just be lurking around the QOTWs, and perhaps answering the odd one or two.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Oh, all right then.
Apologies in advance for length and lack of laughs. If you're in for a quick laugh, skip to the next entry.

I wasn't gonna post this, 'cos it's still a bit painful, but I barely ever post on here and I've been looking for a while for an opportunity to make a contribution.

Once upon a time (only a couple of years ago really) I was a sad little bugger in sixth form who'd barely been kissed. However, since switching from my old school to this one where I had more friends, I was gaining confidence. Long story short I met a wonderful girl (we'll call her J) just a month younger than I and we struck up a friendship, which soon blossomed. I was happier than I've ever been, before or since. "First love and all that jazz" as someone else has said on this QotW.

We argued a fair amount, especially when I wanted to go out and make more of a career out of my film-making hobby, but we were fiercely in love - or at least I was. Not long after Christmas and the end of our first year together, it emerged that she'd fallen for an older man - forty years old, a friend of her mother's, a charmer of a guy who was, he said, kicking his coke habit following a failed marriage and suicide attempt. He had a flashy car, plenty of money, age and experience, the works. Let's call him S. J admitted her feelings to me and asked what she should do. Naïvely believing in my love for her and hers for me, I told her to "do what would make her happy," believing she would see the error of her ways and choose me over him.

She didn't.

I barely saw or heard from her outside school for the next few weeks. In the end I called her up and asked for her decision - me or him. We battled it out for a long time, me trying to be logical and rational about the whole thing. Eventually, it was over. I sobbed down the phone for a while, then hung up.

The next couple of months were hell. J was happier, more confident - freer - than I'd ever seen her, and I felt more broken than I'd ever felt before (which isn't inconsiderable). Being unable to avoid her at school, and having to work with her in one of my classes was uncomfortable to say the least, but I did my best to keep my anger and pain from her and remain amiable. Her relationship with this man was still illicit, hidden from her mother, but it was fiery where ours had become more complacent. Eventually, though, her sister learned from her friend that S was seeing her friend's mother behind J's back. I'd kept in tough with J, of course, and I can't remember if I phoned her or she phoned me, but now it was her turn to cry down the phone at me. I remember feeling relief at my lack of glee at the news, only remorse that she now had to suffer the same pain I did.

When she eventually plucked up the courage to confront him about it, he shouted at her, blamed her for the collapse of their relationship, accused her of lying... when J's mum next met him in their local, she punched him in the face, prompting, I gather, a round of applause. He was later banned from said pub for trying to ruin the second unfortunate woman's life via the landlord, and punched his ex-wife (and only remaining friend) in the face before never being heard from again, as far as I know. One part of me hopes he's dead, and another that he isn't so I can do it my self. I'm not by nature a nasty person, and this is the only time I've ever allowed myself these feelings.

J and I are still good friends, and she now lives with a good bloke she'd fancied for years, so that's all fine. For my own part, I've barely spoken to a girl since. I guess I'm still not over it.
(Mon 8th Dec 2008, 4:38, More)

» Common

Dear God
This QOTW has completely cancelled out the Nicest Thing one. I now hate every single one of you, you stuck-up, intolerant pieces of shit.

(Sun 19th Oct 2008, 0:02, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

Mutual kindness
My ex, despite everything, is still my friend. And I'm still hers. So I guess that evens out.

And my mate, who I barely knew at the time, introduced me to clubbing and loads of cool people and changed my life. And paid for my first night out. What a guy!

And I owe my parents tons of money, and they haven't said a word. Awesome.

First post ever. Woo!
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 3:49, More)

» God

On the bus on my way to college every day,
I would pass the premises of Power Church International on Camberwell Road. It's big, modern yellow type and grinning, faces on the sign never failed to amuse me. I wish I could find a picture of it.
(Mon 23rd Mar 2009, 18:48, More)