» Horrible things I've done to a loved one

My sister's husband
When my sister invited me to meet her boyfriend (husband as of yesterday!), he had only seen some very old photos and was told that we looked somewhat alike. What he didn't expect on his return home from work was to find us in the hallway of their house like the Shining sisters. With us wearing the same outfit, hairstyle, spectacles, he was taken aback because he knows that his girlfriend doesn't have a twin sister. He had a twitch of fear when he looked at us, but the crowning moment for me was the facial reaction somewhat akin to trumping with a possible follow-through as he wasn't prepared for me to have the same voice as his girlfriend. When we turned in unison, staring wide-eyed and whispered "Hello John" before bursting into high pitched laughter he all but ran back out of the door.

This story was told at the wedding reception yesterday as a means of introducing me to his family as "the fake-twin sister of the bride".
(Sun 19th Jun 2011, 17:38, More)

» Gyms

Everyone remembers the time...
I have a membership card to a country club in mid Wales and I was in the gym there. It's a holiday place and most people are out playing golf or tennis, plus the grounds are much nicer for exercising and walking dogs and so on than being cooped up. This means that the gym area is always empty. Instead of air conditioning there are french doors which are always kept open. I was doing some stretching on the yoga mats on my lonesome before I tackled some proper exercise. I was mid stretch with my leg on a big old squidgy exercise ball when it is shoved out of the way! I not-so-gracefully fall sideways, just in time to see the collie dog bounding out of the french doors with another exercise ball being pushed with his nose.

I was giggling too much to carry on after that.
(Mon 13th Jul 2009, 12:31, More)

» Will you go out with me?

I will never forget the shy girl
who was helping man a stall at the church Christmas fayre, when I was but a young slip of a Brownie Guide.

"I like your brother, i'm going to ask him out!" she whispered to me. I was confused.

The girl guide uniform betrayed that my brother was in fact, my sister with a severe pudding bowl haircut from mum.

The poor girl guide fled and we were left to man the stall ourselves.
(Tue 2nd Sep 2008, 21:07, More)

» Overheard secrets

From the mouths of babes
I was visiting my husband a couple of years ago, when his little sister then aged six came home from a nice day out with her friend's mum looking after her and her numerous best friends from primary school.
Her mum asked her what they had been up to and got the usual single sentence without pausing for breath kind of response that you'd get from a six year old.

"Well Daisy's mum took us to the swimming pool and we had fish fingers and chips and beans and I saw a seagull eating some chips from the floor and ...." etc. Then there was a little pause.

"Mum i've got a secret that only you can know". She was just learning about gossiping and secrets in her gaggle of school friends, but hadn't mastered tact or volume yet. In a clearly audible to the room, but hidden behind her hands so she thought we couldn't hear, she proudly said stage-whispered " I DID A SECRET WEE IN THE POOL".

The room burst out laughing, so she hastily backtracked with a hearty false laugh of her own and a bellowed "ONLY JOKING" before running from the room.
(Mon 29th Aug 2011, 19:35, More)

» Asking people out

*pearoasts*
I will never forget the shy girl who was helping man a stall at the church Christmas fayre, when I was but a young slip of a Brownie Guide.

"I like your brother, I'm going to ask him out!" she whispered to me.

I was confused. The girl guide uniform betrayed that my brother was in fact, my sister with a severe pudding bowl haircut from mum. The poor girl guide fled and we were left to man the stall ourselves.
(Fri 11th Dec 2009, 20:06, More)