b3ta.com user pinacolada
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» Nightclubs

Wankabout...
My bestfriend lives in Rugby and I went to visit her last summer. Being a very small town there are only 2 choices when it comes to nightlife (other than old man pubs) and one of which is an Australian themed chain of pubs called Walkabout, heard of them?

We were having a great time supping £1.50 Vodka Redbulls and were pleasantly drunk enough to get on the dacefloor. My friend went up to the DJ booth and requested some crap by Britney Spears and the DJ complied, great! As the night went on and more Vodka Redbulls were had and more chart toppers were requested.

On the last request, instead of his usual compliance, he asked her if she would get her friend (being me) to come up and choose a song. So I go behind the booth to request a 'bangin choon' (which I have now forgot...you'll see why) and he opens the little gate/doory/DJcatflap thing to present me with his raging boner and slaps it in my naive hand!

Now, I was drunk, and I had never seen such a large penis in my life! I took one look at this blokes grinning face and my Beadle sized hand in comparison to his cock and spewed warm, fizzy Vodka Redbull all down the front of him.

I think I gave him what he deserved. Unless it's Rugby-Walkabout etiquette to wank off the DJ when he plays your requests?
(Wed 8th Apr 2009, 16:38, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

My mums shopping list...
Every Friday, my Mum does "the big shop". Luckily for me, and to her dismay, I have Friday mornings off college.

Friday is also my mothers "do the cleaning day".

Whilst she's upstairs hoovering up the weeks accumulated dust, I love to add a few things to her shopping list in her hand writing.

Amongst the 'pots , toms and fags' I include stuff like- KY Jelly, Dildo, Whipped cream, spunk rags, pr0n etc etc. I also add 'big present for Ashley' for Ashley is my name.

Each week I await the yellow taxi bringing her home for my 'big present'. Mostly I just have to do with the KY Jelly.
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 13:00, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

oh and another one...
I love turning the screen washers to the left on my car, then squirting people on the pavement.

Guilty? no usually, but when you get someone in the eye/mouth and there's anti-freeze in the washer bottle I feel really paranoid that I'm going to get arrested.
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 13:30, More)