» God

I was once kicked in the shins for not believing in god.
I was 6 years old, and when you're in primary school, they do their level best to try and mold you into what is seen as a "model citizen."

Now, I went to a catholic primary school in Nottingham. Suffice to say, I was pretty much the only non-believer in the entire school.

I don't wish to cast aspersions on anyone's belief system, but I just think its a bunch of bollocks.

I've always maintained this. My parents raised me to be atheist (so why did they sent me to a catholic school? I can't fathom that, no matter how much I try.) From an early age, I was always taught that I've got to do things for myself, and that god, or mohammed, or any other symbol of hope is going to make my dreams come true - if you want something, you fucking well take it for yourself.

So imagine the shock and horror of the little catholic school children when I say this kind of staunch, anti-spiritual thing.

Yes, it was with bruised shins and knees that I dragged my sorry arse home that day.

My mum marched up to the school, a brouhaha ensued, she walked out of the head teachers office saying "self-righteous cunt", and that was that. I continued to learn at that school, but I always got the feeling I was disliked - if the death threats were anything to go by.
(Sat 21st Mar 2009, 23:42, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

i once
had to help my mate piss when he broke both of his arms in a car accident

that was odd
especially because it went all over my hand

i felt dirty
i was so ashamed

it also added the long list of friends' penises that i'd touched over the course of that month (good paying job = many piss ups)
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 23:09, More)