b3ta.com user The Sitmpwa
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» Pet Peeves

people
people who say "tis you".

ITS FUCKING "TISSUE"!

Or people who say "Hello there" what? Hello where?

People who shake your hand and while doing so grasp your shaking hand with there other hand. FUCK OFF!

People who have a limp or wet handshake. fuck off! Dont shake at all.

People who dont like me smoking. Fuck off!

People who dont like me Drinking. Fuck off too!!

People who make a loud crunching sound when they eat. Fuck off.

Gay People who feel the need to tell you they are Gay every other sentance. Fuck Off.

Catholics who talk non stop religion. Fuck Off.

Manchester United. Fuck Off

People who hold the Knife like its a pen. Fuck off.

Tony Blair. Fuck Off.

People who shout on there Mobile phone. Fuck Off.

Annoying ring tones. Fuck off.

Jo Brand. Your not funny. Fuck off.

People who have a go at our troops in Iraq. Do you think they want to be there? Fuck off.

People who wear white socks with black shoes. Fuck off.

The Birmingham accent. Dont Speak and Fuck off.

People who complain about England. If you dont like it Fuck Off - I did.

People who say " oooh your so lucky to have a good job. No i am not. Fuck Off.

Englands Cricket Team. Fuck Off.

Also the England Football Team. Fuck off.

People who Slurp there Drinks. Fuck Off.

Old Women. Fuck off



I will Get My Coat and FUCK OFF!
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 10:59, More)

» Kids

A bit Off Topic
I just want to tell my fellow b3tans that my wife and i our expecting are first baby in July. I am absolutley shitting myself. Does any body have any tips? Is it also true that you cant smell your own babies poo? I cant do Poo.


Ill get my coat
(Fri 18th Apr 2008, 5:06, More)

» Pet Peeves

BBC News
As some people may know, i live in Thailand. In my house one of the only English channels i get is BBC News. I like BBC news. However what really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally pisses me off is getting up in the morning, turning on BBC News and no no no its not BBC News. Its bloody BBC World News America.
BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPERATION not bloody BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPERATION WORLD NEWS AMERICA or BBCWNA!!!. Why do we need to hear about the Sceptic Tanks' news??
BBC News is famed for its impartial reporting. Why do we need a whole 35minutes dedicated to American news??? WHY WHY WHY PLEASE TELL ME WHY?
To make matters worse there is no ticker tape at the bottom with the latest Sports News Either.
Click i like this if you want BBC world news America to just go and fuck right off!
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 5:40, More)

» Phobias

3 things
1. I am absolutely petrified of flying. Its not normal. Its wrong. Its the only sodding way to see the world quickly. I live in thailand although i am English. I have not been home for 5 years because i will have to fly. By the way I am not scared of helicopters they are great, and my dream Job is an airline pilot so i guess it must be a control thing.

2. Do you remember the Movie The Spy who loved me? The Man Jaws. He still scares the living shit out of me. The worst part is at the carnival in Rio, when he is dressed as a clown and slowly dancing down the narrow street euuuurrrurrrrgh.

3. Put very Simply.....Squeeky cotton wool!
(Fri 11th Apr 2008, 7:51, More)

» Puns

Very Simply
I would rather have a bottle in front of me,

Than a full frontal Labotomy.




Is that a pun? God i am thick.


I'll get my coat.
(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 13:13, More)
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