b3ta.com user Shameless
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» My most gullible moment

Downs Syndrome + N64 =

At school I had a friend called Tom. Tom was part of an intricate network of families who always seemed to be together, at each others houses and hanging about. However he wasnt too keen on get-togethers involving them because it meant he had to look after all the smaller children whilst the parents probably got drunk or summat. Anyways, there was this one kid called Michael. He had Downs Syndrome and thus was pretty difficult to control, at least he was when there were no grown ups to look after him. However, whenever Tom and his friends played on the N64 Michael would be absolutely fascinated and stare silently at the TV in amazement. One problem. He was always eager to play it himself. Now I dont know if you've ever witnessed a small child with Downs Syndrome trying to play GoldenEye but I can assure you its hilarious. Tom didnt think so. He didnt even want to be there, let alone have to play against Michael, who seemed to be a pro at running in circles in the corner and shooting the ceiling. Tom comes up with a genius plan that would enable him to play against people who could actually play properly and give himself a little amusement so he could spend his time not being miserable. The following scene unfolds...

Tom's mum peeks her head round the door and inquires thus:
"I hope you're letting Michael have a go too,"
"Yeah course, he is right now actually, look..." Tom replies whilst pointing towards Michael (who is jiggling around open mouthed and making excited noises)
"Ah lovely, glad to see you're all having fun" she says and vanishes back to the living room.

However, she failed to notice the TV showed a 2 player split screen deathmatch, yet there was 3 kids with N64 controllers...

Michael's wasnt plugged in.

Thank the lord for gullible disabled kids.
(This isnt taking advantage of disabled people. Little Michael was loving every moment and never found out)

Length? Probably about 3 hours of peace and quiet and a thoroughly contented young child.
(Sat 23rd Aug 2008, 0:36, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Having a wank...
seems like a great idea at the time, only to be severely disappointed when it comes to the cleaning up.
(Tue 1st Jul 2008, 18:47, More)

» Cringe!

Maths lesson at school
Our teacher, Mr Cooper, was busy teaching us kids something in maths one day. As usual after his explanation he asked one of us a question to see if we had understood. He picked on Manisha. As the name suggests Manisha was originally from India and spoke with quite a strong Indian accent. The conversation went something like this (simplified maths because I cant remember what it was - some A level crap anyway):

Mr C: Manisha, 2+2 please.
Manisha: (mumbled) 4.
Mr C: Sorry?
Manisha: (mumbled again) 4.
Mr C: In English please...

I think he realised what he said after about 2 seconds. Its wonderful to see a teacher in an extremely awkward position like that.
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 21:58, More)

» Faking it

Just remembered...
I have played for a number of top European football clubs winning trophies every season.

I am also responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, mostly children, and have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.

*turns PS3 off*
(Mon 14th Jul 2008, 17:21, More)

» Faking it

Dear B3ta...
At school I was always chosen last at a game of football. All the other kids would choose the best players or all their friends. This left me feeling very lonely and sad. It was even my dream to play professional football. How could I show off all my skills when nobody would let me play?

I got my mate to pretend to be one of the greatest footballers of all time and he told them all how good I was.

In the end I managed to play for Southampton in the Premier League and I bet nobody was laughing at me then!

Ali Dia
(Fri 11th Jul 2008, 12:03, More)
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